Unhappy & broken hearted
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| Fri, 04-21-2006 - 4:10pm |
My bf of 4 years broke up with me on the terms we fight too much...sad thing was we had a fight i didn't even know we had coz i said something he didn't like and didn't apologise immediately. We had just started back long distance after living 4 months together so i could have started grad school and days before the breakup things were great, we were talking fine and all that jazz.
I feel like if there is more to it than that and he has been hurtful and mean to me since then whenever we try to talk and his response is i provoked him to say those things and i shouldnt expect an apology from him. He was my best friend n i thought i'll ahve him there for me thru my difficult time. The thing is i don't trust people easily, i'm in a town without friends and busy with research and no time for a life and he doesn't give me the benefit of the doubt, so in essence i don't have anyone to talk to (big loser huh). All i want from him right now is his friendship but he tells me its my fault we cannot be friends since i wanted to discuss the breakup and asked for a second chance...and i don't think that is fair....he tried to blame for having excess baggage (i.e. emotions) but later admitted he has also have emotions that would make friends difficult coz we would end up back where we were...i don't think its fair for him to judge the future like that. But if he sticks with this was the right decision, then why is it so hard for him to be friends?
I miss talking to him and don't have anyone else to talk to and everytime i try to talk to him he puts on a tough exterior like he is made of stone. But i heard from a friend who had supper with him that he still loves me and misses me but just wants to try and get over me. He acts like he hates me but tell me he doesn't...n the thing that hurt the most was that before i left we had plans to make long distance less difficult, he had told me on numerous occasions how much he wished he could marry me (but because of some parental issues we never got engaged)and while living together we always told each other how much we loved it that we had thought about looking at houses....we wnated to have the whole nine yards...but now he expects me to be over everything and be okay with the way things are when in essence i have lost the one person i trusted with my life and who was my everything....it just hurts so much and i don't know what to do anymore...its been 2 months and he is all i think about still and now i feel like i'm to blame for his unhappiness as well as mines...

It's hard for him to be friends because you don't just get over a 4 year relationship, even though he was the one to break things off. He still has romantic feelings for you and he knows that you have those feelings for him. You can't be friends when that's the case.
No contact is what both of you need right now...if you're meant to be friends, you can be friends down the road...just not right NOW.
Sheri