Unique situation

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Unique situation
3
Sat, 06-25-2005 - 8:49pm

Hey girls...I haven't seen my particular situation addressed in any advice columns I've read, so I was hoping you all could help me out a little.

Last month, my boyfriend and I ended our year long relationship, amicably. We decided to stay friends and have sinced talked 2 or 3 times. Our relationship was long distance, and we were planning on being together once I graduated from college, which I did. While we were still together, I interviewed for a job in his area, which turned out to be my dream job. I got the job, and I'll be starting in September.

What makes this situation difficult is that my future roommate (in the new location) and I have been friends for years, and he is a mutual friend with my ex as well. He's acually how my ex and I met in the first place. In the past, my plan of action with exes has always been to not exactly cut my ties, but to not really hang around either. My living situation, and the fact that our mutual friend is the only person I know in the area aside from my ex, pretty much guarantees regular contact with my ex.

So I guess my question is, how am I going to deal with seeing him regularly? I don't know if I'll be over it by then (it will have been 4 months at that point...I hope I am). Do I make myself scarce when he comes to our apartment, and do I not go out with my roommate if I know my ex will be there too? I don't know if I can handle seeing him with another girl, either, should he happen to be dating someone.

Thanks...any advice will be greatly appreciated!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2003
In reply to: vixs983
Sun, 06-26-2005 - 1:12am
Tought situation. The fact is that you'll share a place with a roommate and this roommate can bring your ex to your place if he wants to. It might be as uncomfy for you as I might be for him. Can you room with another person once you move out there? You don't necessarilly have to live with your friend, do you? You can make friends once you get to know the area and people and you won't have to hang with your ex and friend. Think about it, because once you move in and your ex starts to appear in the picture you might not want to stay in the place at all.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2005
In reply to: vixs983
Sun, 06-26-2005 - 9:36am
A tough situation, no doubt. My advice is to get a different room mate. If not, you will be sure to see your X. If you keep the room mate, you should tell him how you are feeling and ask him for his help in dealing with this situation. You never know, maybe they are not as close as you think.
Avatar for lisa19722001
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
In reply to: vixs983
Mon, 07-04-2005 - 12:12pm

Hello,

It might be just as tough for your EX to come over as it is for you to have him over. Who knows you may find someone else by then also.

Good Luck!

~Lisa L