update: 2 week break plus dating others

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2005
update: 2 week break plus dating others
Thu, 10-20-2005 - 10:53am

i posted about my bf and i going through some very stressful times. him with work, me with ex dh, then ex dh threatening him, now trying to screw him up at work, etc. anyway, the date before all this stress we were having our own relationship stress. we agreed to take 2 weeks off. time to think, be apart, think things over, etc. we still speak several times a day. the stress in my bf's life has now gotten enormous. lots of probs at work, etc. caused by my ex. anyway, last night on the phone i said to him can i see you tomorrow night? and he said "its not good, lets wait till all of this dies down" (in regards to my ex dh threatening him and bf is getting a restraining order against him for harrassment) fine i understand that COMPLETELY. then i said "you know we have an agreement not to date anyone else during this time right" he says really loud almost laughing "WE DON"T HAVE THAT AGREEMENT!!!" like he is laughing at the idea. i said "well, we do. i asked you to not date in this time because if things work out between us it will be bad for the relationship." he goes "we don't have that agreement, but i will respect it, don't worry, i will respect you" then he goes on to tell me how going on dates is the furthest thing from his mind since he is about to lose his job and has to get a restraining order against my ex, etc. well why not just say that from the get go??? if you don't want to date other people why not just say it. why make a big deal that we never made that agreement. i should add he is the type of person that hates when other people try to control him, or his actions, or impose rules on him, so maybe just maybe it was him trying to exert some power and independance, but don't you think if you weren't thinking about dating you wouldn't care if someone said that to you???? now i am so upset!