update

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
update
2
Fri, 06-10-2005 - 11:28am

I wrote a quick email to my ex on Monday letting him know that i'm moving out of our apartment pretty soon and there are a still a few things of his that need to be picked up. He called last night, saying he got the email and he'll be around on Saturday to get his things. He also said he wanted to see my DD and that he wasn't happy with our last conversation (4 weeks ago) in where I told him that it's better for everyone that he doesn't spend time with her right now. He said that he's going to be working every weekend for the next couple of months and he won't be able to see her otherwise. I begrudgingly agreed, but I just don't get this..

She isn't his daughter, she's from a previous relationship. I know they became close while we were living together, but still, he dumped me, not the other way round. He was the one who said that the living arrangement was too much for him. He walked away and i just assumed he would keep on walking. So why keep a relationship with my daughter, when he knows that he has to see me?

Someone please explain this to me, cause I don't get it.

-adc

-almostdoesntcount

 

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: almostdoesntcount
Fri, 06-10-2005 - 1:41pm

Probably due to guilt and not wanting to think of himself as the bad guy. He also might genuinely have affection for her, and doesn't realize it would be harmful to your daughter to have contact with him (as it would affect her healing process).

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2005
In reply to: almostdoesntcount
Fri, 06-10-2005 - 11:00pm

i think he still wants to be the "good guy" even to your daughter and doesn't want to feel bad about leaving.

but, i think you're right to be uncomfortable. if you feel that your daughter's best interest is met by him not being in her life, i think you have every right to let him know that his contact with her is inappropriate. he's no longer a part of your life and that should include your child, in my opinion.