Update - Feeling Anxious
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| Mon, 12-18-2006 - 9:23am |
Hi everyone,
Well I'm writing to you all for 2 reasons. I wanted to update everyone on what happened over the weekend with the whole Washington DC guy situation. The other reason I'll get into later.
So Friday I got home after my office Christmas party and that night he called me. He said that he had food poisoning and that was why he hadnt called me back. He said he hadnt been to work and he hadnt even answered his mother's 2 phone calls. I believed him and felt silly. So we spoke for a few minutes and I had to go because we were doing a birthday cake for my brother in law. He said he was going to be around for a while so I said if he wanted I would call him later on after the cake. He said that sounded good, and with that, we got off the phone. So I called back later on and got his voicemail. I left a message and got no callback. Fine. So the next day, still nothing so that afternoon I left him a text that said "good afternoon, just wanted to say hi".. Nothing back. And nothing that night and all of Sunday either. What? Did he get food poisoning again?? Then this morning I saw that he was on his myspace, so I know he's not sick again. Now, when we were on the phone Saturday we were discussing what was going on for the holidays, etc. Somehow the discussion got on the topic of whether or not both of us are dating other people. I told him I wasn’t and he said "when I'm involved with someone, I keep it at just one person" and I said "I kind of thought you and I were involved in some way" and he said "and I concur with that" So I took that to mean that everything was cool and I dropped it. But then here he goes again with the ignoring calls and messages bit, and I just think that's not right.. Everyone I talk to thinks something just sounds not right, like something's up and they say I should just move on and forget it.
Ok, now here's the second reason I'm writing… Not so much that I'm worried about him not calling (even though yes, that is really bothering the crap out of me, but I cant control him and MAKE him call me and tell me the truth about what's going on), but what is really scaring me has to do with me. The way I'm feeling right now because of this. I physically have a headache because of it. I'm upset. I feel like sending that same flood of messages that I know is not the right thing to do for so many reasons. I just have that anxious feeling, I cant describe it. I know I need to speak to someone about this, but until I figure out a good place to go, I was hoping you guys wouldn’t mind if I came here to post for a bit.

Since you have the feeling you have, don't bottle them up. Don't text him or write to him or call him BUT do write him an UNSENT letter, vent away, everything you want to say, then burn the letter. Write as many as you need to, until you feel even a little bit better.
As for the not calling, sounds like he has all the right answers, but no follow through. As hard as it is to do, letting go helps. The thing is, even if he's being honest, his behavior is causing you to doubt so even if you were together, guess what, that doubt would still be there.
Sorry you have to go through this.
Carrie
Remember if a man is not coming towards you it is generally because he does not want to. Take a couple of steps back and let him come to you, that way if he does, it was his will to do so and not him submitting to yours.
YG
YG
http://twodatediva.blogspot.com/