update... i am so hurt
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update... i am so hurt
| Thu, 08-23-2007 - 10:09am |
I had posted on here before and have an update... me and my boyfriend were trying to work things out considering I am now almost 9 months pregnant with our child. It was unplanned but now greatly anticipated. Things were remaining civil for the child and we were trying to work things out in our relationship... until I found out that he has been seeing someone else for a few months now. I am so hurt. He met this girl at his new job and they have been an item while I have been out of town with my family for a few months now. He was even seen "misbehaving" at a party and a friend of mine went to him and said don't you have a pregnant girlfriend, and he said, yeah but she's out of town. He was still telling me that he loved me that he didn't want to break up or move on, and I find out that he has been seeing this cute girl that is a waitress where he is a manager. I don't know how to react and right now I am so hurt. I wish I was angry because obviously he cheated on me while I was 7, 8 and 9 months pregnant. But surprisingly I still want to talk to him and have him explain this to me and I want to know why and all of those things. I know I need some sense talked into me. I should be so angry I should be so done with him. I know I can have this child alone I have great support from my family, but I really need him in such a crucial time in my pregnancy. I never liked the name he had chosen for the child, and I am tempted to change it. I don't want him in the delivery room, but it's his first child too and don't want to deprive him of that. Please someone tell me what I need to hear because right now I just want to work things out, but cheating on your girlfriend while she is pregnant should be unforgiveable. Oh yea... and the girl is pregnant, she is about a month or so pregnant. I have heard she doesn't have the best reputation and is known as someone who sleeps around so I guess there is a chance it might not be his, and he denies that she is even pregnant. Also saying if she is there is no way it is his. I am 22 and devestated, I really thought there was a chance we would work things out and obviously he has no respect for me and truly has no feelings for me. What am I suppose to do to deal with all this heartbreak?

First thing that caught my attention was how he denies this other girl is pregnant but then adds that even if she is, its not his. Um...okay. That makes no sense!! Sounds like a red flag to me. And the fact that now people are bad mouthing this other girls reputation--you don't know her and I'm sure there is another side to the story...there always is. Who knows what this guy is telling her about you?
I would name my child what I wanted if my child's father walked out on us--and even if that was not the case, it would have to be a joint consensus. And if you don't want him in the delivery room thats your choice. They will honor the mother's choice--not his. This may be his first child but look how he has chosen to "honor" that! Loser! Personally, I'd be so thrilled I was about to welcome a child into MY world and care less about his "needs." He isn't concerned about you or the baby. Sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do and I don't think it should be done on your child's time. Clearly he is not ready for the relationship you were hoping for. I see a train wreck coming. You are trying to make something work out for your child, but in reality, the child will suffer more with the conflict and revolving door type situation he wants and you allow him to have.
Welcome back crazybeautiful2,
Here's your previous post for others to read:
how do prevent things from getting ugly?
He's betrayed you and it's normal that you feel upset and hurt.
Here's some things to think about:
::But surprisingly I still want to talk to him and have him explain this to me and I want to know why and all of those things.
He did it because he WANTED to.
I am so sorry...
I agree with the other two posters.
You should name YOUR child whatever you want - who cares if he had anything to do with it? He obviously doesn't care about it so really it's not "his" child, he just had a tiny part in the making of it. You're the one that's been pregnant while he's fooling around.
It is your choice of course, but personally I don't think he deserves to be in that delivery room or to have anything to do with naming it.
And reconciling for the sake of the baby seems scary... it seems like a lot of parents end up staying together "for the kids" and that is good in theory but then those kids have to grow up in an unhappy family and they can't wait until they leave. You can do better.
All the best <3