Update - I Ended it Last Night

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2005
Update - I Ended it Last Night
2
Wed, 08-31-2005 - 9:37am

Hi everyone,

Well, yesterday was a rough day for me, but I decided to stop having contact altogether with my ex. We are not going to do the whole coffee/lunch thing and I told him we should cut ties. Here's how it happened: Basically I emailed him and told him "I have to be honest with you. I still have feelings for you and I dont want to do the wrong thing here" That was toward the end of the day, so after work we spoke on the phone, and he told me he doesn't want to be involved with anyone too seriously right now and that he thought I wanted to be friends. I told him I can't and that I just need to move on if he doesn't want me like that anymore. He said "maybe it was selfish of me to email you on your birthday then". He said there is no chemistry with us anymore and that we're not right for each other. He said he wants to remain friends and that he'll leave it up to me. Well, I made my decision not to be his friend and that's it. I'm angry at him for hindering the progress I made this far, but it's ok. It's over now. I was being dumb and holding out hope for something (and someone) that's not going to happen. I see that now. So here I go, beginning the healing process again. Although for some reason this time I don't feel like i've been set back so much. Not quite square one. I felt ok enough to be laughing on the phone last night really late with the new guy i've been talking to!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2005
Wed, 08-31-2005 - 9:57am
Hey, I wish I was this strong!!
This week has been extremely hard on me, although I have done a darn good job of hiding it. Breakup occured on the 3rd of august. Although we are "broken up", we never officially said it was over over...weve been seeing each other, telling each other we love each other..its very confusing. I have been going out with my friends every single day, laughing and trying to have a good time. Only he is a CONSTANT presence in my mind. I havent cried in a while, but thats only because I am very good at keeping my feelings inside. Its just a constant state of wondering..does he miss me? Does he think about me...is he seeing someone else..is he happy...etc. etc. When I saw him last thursday he slept over at my apartment, we had a really good time together, then he got up on friday, went to work, kissed me goodbye.. Then he called me 4 times on saturday, but once I called him back he never returned my call..?!?! NC since then. I have now realized that I need to have THE TALK with him...I need to tell him everything that needs to be said, to hug him goodbye and let him go. I know it will set me back to the beginning..but I also know I will never move on fully if I am still hoping we will get back together. I just realized that we both know its over cause we are not good together...but we have a hard time letting go. Anyways I am really dreading doing it..because I know once we make it final it will hit me hard that this is really over...so in a way, the state of wondering is almost better...haha i am just kidding myself. And it sucks because its my bday this weekend...So i will try really hard not to talk to him until next week because the last thing I want is to be depressed on my bday....wish me luck!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2004
Wed, 08-31-2005 - 11:32am

perfect and each and everytime your think about him remember the following...

"He said there is no chemistry with us anymore and that we're not right for each other."

I know it hurts - but that statement alone should keep you from contact unless/until you're purely interested in him as a friend. Hugs, Wriley