update on mr. distance
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| Mon, 03-06-2006 - 5:36pm |
Hi, everybody,
Well here is the update on mr. distance. He still continues to lie and state he would call back which he doesn't. So, I did call on Valentine's Day to wish him a happy birthday and we had a discussion about what was happening to us. He stated that I needed to release some tension.. haven't the slightest clue what that could have been but he stated he had a flight to pack for and he would would call later. So anyway, I made up my mind that if anyone was going to do the calling it would be him. Last Thursday I received four calls and did not answer them and he was kinda upset and left a message stating that I wa being immature...HA! that what's I thought. So,he call me that morning before I went to work acting like nothing has happened, telling me where his layover was and he would call later on that night. As usual, he didn't and I really didn't sweat it. Then, I received a called Saturday, and the nucca (knucklehead) acted totally civil. He wouldn't hardly say anything so I asked was he sleep aand he claims he was listening to meand still is telling me where he was which was a problem before . As we ended our conversation, he ask me to give him a call the next morning which I didn't. I been pretty good and I haven't called him back. A part of me feels he that he sorry and he doesn't know how to express it since he has made a total jerk of himself and the other part of me feels like he is trying to see if he is still in the picture. I'm just feel like I'm getting mixed signals. I need your input.Last month has been total flip!! Thanks for your advice!!
Sherri2006

HI SHERRI2006
I MEAN I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOUR DOING THE WRONG THING. I KNOW SOMETIMES PLAYING HARD TO GET OR LESS AVAILABLE IS USEFUL...BUT THE THING IS DONT USE IT TOO MUCH..YOU MIGHT SEND HIM WRONG SIGNAL...WHAT ABOUT HIS WILLING TO BE WITH YOU AND YOU SEEM THAT YOUR PLAYING GAMES WITH HIM...AND LATER YOU WANT HIM BACK AND HE WILL THINK YOUR NOT SERIOUS. YOU MIGHT SEND HIM AWAY AGAIN AND NEVER CALL YOU....
Hi jazz_meeh,
Thanks for responding to my situation. Actually, there are times I really want to call him but the previous times, it has always been like he is in a rush or his famous line "I call you back" and he doesn't. These last few calls(where he has made the effort to call) have thrown me for a loop and I have no clue where we are in this relationship. One of my girlfriend says i need to talk to him but how can you when there is a possiblity he will give you the brush off line. This is the reason why I am so cautious to call him. I guess if he really wants us to be together he will make the move. Only time can tell so I try to stay busy to keep my off this. Does anyone else have any advice on how to handle this? Appreciate it! Take
care!
Sherri2006
It sounds a lot like you're just playing games and that's not a good idea. You need to take a serious inventory of how you feel about this guy and honestly decide if YOU want to be in this relationship anymore. If you don't, tell him. If you do, then set your boundaries and stick with them. I went back to your old post and it says this is a relationship that started in November. That's not a very long time.
The problem with games and manipulation is that if you really don't know what you're doing, it'll all blow up in your face. He'll either figure out you're manipulating and bolt or he'll see you not answering his calls or whatever as disinterest and bolt. Plus, if you are dishonest and you lose him, you'll never really know if you could have had him if you'd just been honest. And if you don't lose him, you'll have a relationship based on dishonesty and manipulation, which will haunt you for the rest of your life together. It's obvious his not calling every day is a problem for you and since you've told him and he's been unwilling to change, you have to decide if you can live with that or not. Personally, I don't date men who keep me waiting by the phone. Very early on in a relationship I take note of whether he calls when he says he's going to and if he doesn't, he's outta there. If they aren't as good as their word on that issue, what else are they gonna fall through on?
Steph
hi sherri2006
i mean my question is "do you love this guy?"....ofcourse your answer is YES! RIGHT...
FOR ME IF YOU LOVE THE PERSON YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THEM...IT DOESNT REALLY MATTER WHO CALLS A LOT...IT SEEMS TO ME THAT HIS HARD WORKING PERSON AND ALSO LOOK RIGHT NOW YOU GUYS ARE NOT TOGETHER ANYMORE BUT HE STILL CALL YOU EVEN HIS BUSY....SO FOR ME HE STILL CARE ABOUT YOU...AND IF YOUR SENDING HIM WRONG SIGNAL YOU MIGHT SEND HIM AWAY...IS THAT WHAT YOU REALLY WANT?.....
I MEAN ITS TRUE WHEN HE SAID TO YOU ABOUT BEING IMMATURED( I'M NOT SAYING YOU ARE OKAY DONT GET ME WRONG...I'M JUST HELPING YOU)hehehehe..HIS A HARD WORKING GUY...AND I'M ASSUMING YOU MET HIM LIKE THAT SO YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT THE TRUTH.....LIKE ME RIGHT NOW MY BF HIS A BUSY GUY SOMETIME(NOT ONLY SOMETIME, MOST OF THE TIME...HEHEHEHE)HE WILL TELL ME "I CALL YOU BACK"...BUT I BET YOU AFTER ONE DAY OR TWO DAYS BEFORE HE WILL CALL AGAIN OR EITHER I HAVE TO CALL...BEFORE REALLY IT PISSES ME OFF BUT NOW HONESTLY I DO UNDERSTAND HIM....COZ I EVEN SEE HIM THAT HIS REALLY BUSY AND MOST OF THE TIME HE DOESNT REALLY HAVE TIME FOR HIM SELF...
HE DOESNT EVEN HAVE TIME TO EAT LUNCH COZ OF HIS BUSY SCHEDULE...SO THE TIME HE GOES HOME HIS ALL STRESS, HUNGRY AND ETC. SO FOR ME I RATHER NOT TALK TO HIM..I MEAN COZ YOU KNOW IF THE PERSON ALL STRESS OUT...YOU END UP ARGUING WITH THEM RIGHT. THEY GET SO GRUMPY!!!..SO I PREPARED NOT TO TALK TO HIM UNLESS HE HAS GOOD SLEEP AND REST....HEHEHEHE
BUT IF HIS WITH ME I COULD TELL THAT HIS CARES AND LOVES ME.....COZ I FEEL THAT!!! SO WHAT I TOLD MY SELF IF I REALLY WANT TO BE WITH THIS GUY I HAVE TO UNDERSTAND HIM....SO FOR ME YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND YOUR EXBF/BF WHATEVER HE IS TO YOU....GOOD LUCK
hey, jazz_meeh,
Got your reply and first I really don't think I'm playing games with him. First of all, we have had several discussions about him not calling. When we first started talking, it was a big problem about me being so involved in a community project. So I promised that after Christmas, I would make the time to spend with him which I have done. But because of his job, I realize that I can't spend every waking moment with him. but I feel that if you really want to be with someone and make a relationship work, you have to communicate and try to make time. I was trying to be the bigger person out of this, I was the one always every couple of days calling asking if everything was allright, had I said something to hurt him and he was the one who would rush me off the phone and said he would called back which he didn't. I mean if he didn't want to be bothered all he had to do was not answer the phone when I called but he did. Now,he calls and acts like everything is o.k. He knows I care deeply for him but I feel that the relationship is like a yo-yo. I feel that aleast I deserve an explantion why he is acting this way. As a matter of fact, I called him after you first reply and he answered, we were civil. Then, he rush me off the phone and asked would I be home tonight and he would call. So, we'll see. It just that this guy literally was calling me every morning @work, @lunch, before I leave to go home and complain about his phone bill but yet still call. My brother even said I had a "high maintenance man". Then, we spend the weekend together everything was fine and the next two days you cope an attitude with me but can't tell me why and you become distance for the last month. I really don't think I'm being immature because at least I have voiced my feelings and he knows but with him it a different story. I have even suggested I know there's something wrong and if you need someone to talk to I'm here. So, I have no clue what in the world is going on. Thanks for listening.
Sherri2006
hi sherri
atleast he answered your call right...he didnt ignored it. i prepared guy answering my calls that ignoring it..that kind a piss for me. I MEAN THIS IS ALL ABOUT YOU MY DEAR IT STILL YOUR DESICION...IF YOUR HAPPY AND INLOVE WITH THIS PERSON...YOUR THE ONLY PERSON COULD KNOW WHAT THIS MAN UP TO...AND ITS UP TO YOU IF YOU WANT TO CONTINUE HAVING RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM. JUST DO WHAT YOU THINK MAKE YOU HAPPY AND I REALLY WISH YOU LUCK...I WISH EVERYTHING WILL WORK OUT FOR YOU AND THIS GUY...I REALLY DO!!! FOR ME HE SEEM HIS A NICE GUY..IT JUST HIS BUSY...WELL WHAT CAN I DO!