update - still confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
update - still confused
4
Thu, 11-08-2007 - 11:18am

Well we finally talked last night. He basically told me that he feels he can never ask his friends over or do anything with them and then when he does I get mad. So he hates coming home cause I'm always mad. And he's stressed out cause he can't make everyone happy. Well, I told him the only reason I get mad is because we never do anything together.


I told him I didn't realize I was pressuring him that much about marriage, and that I can stay at my parents and move my stuff into storage (it's his grandma's house but he has zero furniture it's all mine). And all he said to that was "Well, I just don't want to always come home and have you pissed that I was out somewhere". I told him if we actually did stuff together once in a while I wouldn't feel neglected and get upset.


I don't know, I almost felt like he just didn't want to tell me ok, move out or

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 11-08-2007 - 1:06pm

Hi kwhere,


Here's your previous post, On the verge of a break up...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Thu, 11-08-2007 - 5:45pm

I linked my reply to your other post here.


http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlbreaking&msg=24362.5


You've had a conversation together where some important things to each of you were brought up and out.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
Fri, 11-09-2007 - 5:42pm

Yes, we actually sat down and talked last night. Neither one of us want to break up, but we both need to do some compromising to make things better.

I agreed not be be upset when he wants to go out or go hunting,. I also agreed that we need to spend more time with our friends, but it doesn't mean them staying overnight all the time. I don't want weekend roommates. He agreed to spending at least one night a week spending "quality" time together, not just sitting on the couch watching tv, but going to dinner or to a movie, a date night. He also agreed that he would not drink during the week.

So that's a start. There's still more we need to talk about.

Our first date night is tonight, we're going out to dinner with friends and then coming home and playing some games. And they're not staying overnight! :)

I'll keep you posted!
thanks again,
Kate

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Fri, 11-09-2007 - 6:12pm

Ah, good! It is most definitely a first step, and all journeys start with the first step. Sounds like a plan, just keep your eyes open because he needs to keep his drinking under control.

Best of luck and keep us posted!

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