update what shall I do now?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2007
update what shall I do now?
7
Fri, 11-23-2007 - 11:15am

UPDATE

Well anyway I could of just left it like some said and some told me to get in touch with her.. well I thought I’d got In touch with her yesterday afternoon on the off chance and
I got through to her. So we chatted for about 20 mins about what we had been up to and how we have been.
She asked me if I had met any 1 and I said No. She said she had met this lad in town
That she meets every sat night. He’s 13 years older and she said she doesn’t no much about him. Which Is quite scary I think but I didn’t say anything A few of mates think he will be married or something because it seems strange. I think she just wants to see who and what is out there. ANYWAYS

After that call I felt I needed to apologise about feeling that I spoilt things towards the end. I knew there was risk to it and a lot would say I shouldn’t. But I needed to know and couldn’t feel down about it. So I rang her back and asked if I could meet up for an hour as I felt bad about something and needed to chat and she accepted.

So I picked her up on the night, she seemed really confident than usuall and she was dressed quite smart even though she wasn’t feeling very well so I promised we’d just go out for an hour. So we went back to mine had a long chat about everything and I brought the fact about her and me.
I told her that Although we had such a great time together I felt I spoilt it towards the end, Some things I did I can’t explain, I was going to put it in the letter but I didn’t and wish I had so that’s why I’m telling you now. I was nervous for her response and she said don’t worry its fine and smiled. She said that
She was really happy with me and loved me but everything got a bit serious and we saw to much of each other and everything went to quick and that we rushed into things Also that
She was in a relationship last year for 10 months then a month later she started going out with me for 5
Months and that she needed to see what was out there and was confused at the time. She said we both were to blame really. But she said a few times a week what we had comes into my head and when I hear songs we used to listen to I think that’s we did.
And used to do..

So overall risky but now everything’s sorted and I feel so much better.
She said the reason she
Hasn’t been in touch the last 6 weeks is cos she lost her phone.

She said I’m glad we’ve had this talk and the dust is settled now and it all feels good.

I asked her if she was still going in town with her only m8 and she said No she’s back with her ex b/f. and she joked saying I probs wont see her again now

So lastly I came out and said, “ I know back in august you said that you wouldn’t go back into past relationships “ But do you think ours could be worth giving another go
After all we got on so well enjoyed the time together, knew were went wrong and we would know to give each other space to do our own thing.
She said well I dunno I sorta want to see how it goes with this
New lad. So I said ah well I wish you well and I hope it works out
And if you’re happy I am. So anyways she hugged me and said our goodbyes and that was that…

So do you think I should leave it now and call her once every few weeks maybe go for a drink and see how it goes
Or just leave it and NO contact and let her think I’ve gone...
and I promise no contact...???
or send her en email saying i know your seeing how it goes with this new guy
But would you consider seeing how it goes and
That I’d like the chance to make her happy as she was again and do all the fun things we got upto?

any suggestions please?

THANK YOU FOR READING x

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2007
Fri, 11-23-2007 - 9:06pm

She

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2007
Sat, 11-24-2007 - 10:03am

Hi I we split end of july and i didnt get in touch untill october 2nd and all i said was hi hope you ok. and the other day was the 2nd time ive been in touch. thats twice in 4 months, I think to be honest I have given her alot

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2007
Sat, 11-24-2007 - 12:52pm

Good morning, Craig,


"Hi I we split end of july and i didnt get in touch untill october 2nd and all i said was hi hope you ok. and the other day was the 2nd time ive been in touch. thats twice in 4 months, I think to be honest I have given her alot

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2007
Sat, 11-24-2007 - 2:46pm
Hi! I'm new, I've been reading all the posts obsessively because, well, it does not matter. Anyway, without trying to be harsh or anything, the fact that you stepped back and gave her space makes you a great ex boyfriend. However, I would like to stress out the EX part.
The fact that you were brave enough to give her space, does not mean that she is going to give you a second chance. Keep on being your gracious self and take her out of the equation because she clearly has moved on.
Seriously, it seems like you are dancing a tango by yourself, and to dance you need a partner. Don’t do this to yourself and this time, take the space to heal and try to move on, for real.
Luv
Emilia
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Sat, 11-24-2007 - 10:32pm

Simple question, does it make you happy knowing she's moved on and she's happy without you? Do you jump for joy every time she's re hashed the fact that she's having a great time with some new guy? No?

Leave the whole thing alone. You can't make her happy 'as she was again' because she already is and it isn't with you. That's harsh, but it's the truth. Go do your no contact because you are no where near over this girl. And like I swear I've mentioned to you before, the next time you contact her is when she contacts you. Period.

Oh and last thing. It took two people to spoil the end of the relationship.


- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your past - there's a reason they didn't make it into your future.
- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2007
Sun, 11-25-2007 - 12:28pm

I have been reading all the replys.

I think you should just leave it now completely. everyone seems to think she has a new guy but by reading the post you have mentioned she only sees him on a Saturday night once a week??? she dosent know anything about him so all and all she is seenng an attractive man and chances are it wont work.
ALSO maybe she has considered going back with you but thought it might go to fast again and it might not work he was like this and like that but now you have talked and told her you have realised she might consider thats why she didn't get a clear answer...
Leave it for now try your best to get over her but i reckon once her best m8 starts with her ex/bf again nd this older fella messes her about she will think on the lines that you never let her down and i think this is when she will miss you...
here's a good point. I dumped my Ex and i thought it was for best BUT Once i started with some one new i realised i missed my ex the one that never let me down....
who knows whats going through her head craig maybe she wanted to think about it but not telling you this because if she thinks about it and lets you down again it will hurt again

keep your chin up craig

take care

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sun, 11-25-2007 - 1:54pm

Welcome to the board becky885 and thanks for participating.