Verbal abuse, when is it time to leave?
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Verbal abuse, when is it time to leave?
| Fri, 08-27-2004 - 10:03am |
I am in a relationship with a man that has a small child. We have been together for several years. The child is with us every weekend. We have lived together for the past two years. The child is a seperate issue with our realtionship. I left him last year, only to come back because he promised he would change. We have little in common and it seems that every look I make or every word out of my mouth is an excuse for him to snap at me and start an argument. I am not a saint, but I know that 90% of his anger is unjustified or misdirected at me. I finally have reached the end of my rope and I am scared. I want the relationship to end, but I know that he will beg me until I give in again. When I moved out before he constantly showed up unannounced and called all the time (work and home). Some would say that was romantic not giving up on our relationship, but it is very clear to both of us that we do not belong together. He relies on me more than he should and I have been an enabler to his bad behavior all this time. He has plunged me into unmanageable debt, so finding a new place to live is going to be a challenge. I need the courage to walk away.

You have the courage. Get out while you still have your own will. ((hugs)) ~~~~~strong courage vibes being sent your way!!!~~~~~~
Lois
Thank you for your kind words. I am sorry about what you went through, no one should have to live in fear. All he has ever done has been verbal. I am in fear that he will show up/call everywhere I may be and make things uncomfortable for the people around me. I would like us to part ways with out drama. The thing is that we both know that this relationship is not true love. We have different ideas, religions, interests and so on...
Anyway, I didn't mean to infer that this would happen to you, but your story did trigger the memory of 'the pyscho' as I fondly (sarcasm) refer to him. Oh..to make matters more complicated we worked together. That was another lesson learned.
Lois
Amy
Good Luck
Helene
(the codependent, love addict board has really helped me in this situation)
I feel like you are inside the thoughts in my head. I have a plan to get out, it is going to be so hard. One of my saving graces is that his Mom is behind my desicion. He treats her the same way, but not as bad as me. She sees the way he is and feels so bad for me.
He thinks I always need to be right and get the last word in. He fails to realize that I am just in shock reacting to his arger. I never know what is going to set him off, last night for example we where having dinner. His mom, son and the two of us. He asked me to check on the grill, I did, came back in (meanwhile he went to the bathroom). He comes out and walks by me with a smart remark like "Thanks for checking on the food) and then storms away. I go after him trying to tell him that I had just checked on it and it needed to be left alone for a few minutes to finish cooking. He got so angry, wouldn't let me speak, stormed off. Then while we where eating, his Mom and I went to finish some of the food, and he got angry because we didn't ask him first and he stormed off. He did however come back for his son and then left his mother and I to clean up, this was intended to be a thank you dinner from him for she and I.