On the Verge
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On the Verge
| Tue, 09-21-2004 - 5:46pm |
Hi all. I'm new. But I need a place to turn so I can vent a little.
I've been with my current boyfriend for over 3 years now. During this time we've been through a lot of ups and downs. Most of the downs have left me disappointed and upset. However, since I loved him I stuck it out. Just now, in the past month or so, I've come to the realization that things aren't going to work. Now all I have to do is break it to him. We live together. This is going to be very tough. He will not take it well at all I am sure. Is anybody in a similar boat? HELP!

Well your situation sounds the same as mine..If you want to read the post it's in the message board under my membername on Sept 16th. I finally broke up with him about 2 weeks ago but I could not handle the pain that I was feeling, I love him so much but there are things that just aren't working out for us but I can't stand the fact that I will not see him again. I let him come back but I don't feel the same so I'm just waiting it out I guess to see what happens next, I know he's not going to change.
But anyways back to your situation....If you feel that the relationship you are in is not going to work and you know deep down things are not going to change, ask youself this question...do you want to stay with him and let these things just happen and be miserable? This is a tough question to ask but this is what my friend told me to think about. If you want to get married..also think about this..people don't change over night and it may take along time for somone to realize that they need to change. Maybe a break would help the two of you, or is that possible?? My boyfriend and I also live together and I couldn't bear the fact that he would have to move his stuff out. I think that if you know it's the right thing to do just do and and don't have any contact with him because the second you do, you will think about all the good times and want to get back together. I know because it happend to me. I talked to him on the computer and we just slowly started hanging out again.
I hope this helps but you have to decide what to do. It's really hard and I'm not going to tell you that it's easy, just make sure that you are ready for it.
In my experience, I felt the rift building and didn't have the guts to break it off because I had taken him back 3 months earlier. He ended up breaking up with me (now 1 month ago) and now I'm hurting because I didn't end it first, even when I KNEW it wasn't working. Here's an interesting article I think you should read as you're deciding:
http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith/24_dating_advice.html
I am in the same boat. My girlfriend and I have been together for 4 years and lived together 2. She is now moving out, but tells me that she still wants to be with me and that it is all up to me. Doesn't that sound a little wierd, she is going to move out, but still wants to continue our relationship? I actually came here to ask wether or not I should try to keep her with me. I am going nuts, and don't really want to talk to any of my friends over the phone. It is so quiet here alone, I don't know how people live alone, it's insane. I also still love her, just as you were saying you love him. But we just dont get along. I don't know what it is between you and your bf, but if you want someone to vent with you can email me at wobbles66@yahoo.com . Who knew a relationship could be so difficult?