Very Bad Breakup
Find a Conversation
Very Bad Breakup
| Sat, 08-20-2005 - 2:19pm |
I am currently going through a very bad breakup.. I went out with this guy for the past 3 years. We had broken up once before after dating for about a year and 1/2 because things we're really rocky between us and I found out that he trying to pursue something with another girl behind my back. Not even a month later he came crawling back, and I was stupid enough to give it another chance. Although I had a lot of trust issues with him, I loved him regardless and wanted things to work out the 2nd time.I promised myself that things would be different this time.. For a while, all was great... then it went back to the same old constant fighting. He'd ignore me or walk out on me when I needed him the most. We've been through a lot of tough stuff together, so I tried to hold on and make things work, even though I was becoming very sad and angry being in the relationship. I kept trying to get more of his attention, and went to stupid, immature and desperate measures to get it, like telling him I felt like I'd rather die than be treated like this,just to try to get more affection from him. After a while he became abusive, yet I felt like it was my fault so I didn't let anyone know and would lie about any bruises. Even after all that, I still wanted to be with him because I was so insecure and felt that I needed him to be happy. Eventually, he went back to his old ways and hung out with another girl behind my back after a big argument one night a few weeks ago. After a few days of him completely shutting me out, I finally got him to talk.
At first he said he didn't want to be together anymore. Then he said he still loved me and wanted to still try to make things work. Well that was complete BS.. Since then I have not talked to him at all. I know he is now seeing the other girl, and I don't want to call him or try contacting him at all. If all that wasn't bad enough, one of his immature friends (ill call him bob) started spreading all these terrible rumors about me. I thought petty stuff like that was over in high school, but I guess I was wrong. I don't know what Bob had to do with it all, or what I ever did to him to deserve it but he will NOT leave me alone! He will constantly talk crap about me to what used to be our mutual friends, and tries to turn them all against me. I know he's done this to numerous people before, and it took months and restraining orders to get him to leave some of them alone! Apparentally he thinks I started this all because he thinks I was talking crap about him... He has nothing to do with me and my ex breaking up! I don't understand. Even though I know his rumors are BS it still really gets to me. I sort of tried jumping into another relationship just a few days after my ex and I broke up but it got very complicated because the guy was friends with my ex and then "Bob" called him saying "who are your real friends? You can't hang out with her"... so we stopped seeing e/o. So I feel like no matter what, this is going to stick with me forever, and I'm never going to feel better! Help! What do I do?! I feel like I am the only one and I'm never going to make it thorough this ruff time! It feels like my ex doesn't even care we broke up! I mean how could he move on already? I don't even know who to trust anymore.
At first he said he didn't want to be together anymore. Then he said he still loved me and wanted to still try to make things work. Well that was complete BS.. Since then I have not talked to him at all. I know he is now seeing the other girl, and I don't want to call him or try contacting him at all. If all that wasn't bad enough, one of his immature friends (ill call him bob) started spreading all these terrible rumors about me. I thought petty stuff like that was over in high school, but I guess I was wrong. I don't know what Bob had to do with it all, or what I ever did to him to deserve it but he will NOT leave me alone! He will constantly talk crap about me to what used to be our mutual friends, and tries to turn them all against me. I know he's done this to numerous people before, and it took months and restraining orders to get him to leave some of them alone! Apparentally he thinks I started this all because he thinks I was talking crap about him... He has nothing to do with me and my ex breaking up! I don't understand. Even though I know his rumors are BS it still really gets to me. I sort of tried jumping into another relationship just a few days after my ex and I broke up but it got very complicated because the guy was friends with my ex and then "Bob" called him saying "who are your real friends? You can't hang out with her"... so we stopped seeing e/o. So I feel like no matter what, this is going to stick with me forever, and I'm never going to feel better! Help! What do I do?! I feel like I am the only one and I'm never going to make it thorough this ruff time! It feels like my ex doesn't even care we broke up! I mean how could he move on already? I don't even know who to trust anymore.

I'm sorry to hear about your breakup, but I hope you realize somewhere deep inside you that it's for the best...NO ONE deserves abuse, either physical or emotional!!!
In addition to not having contact with your ex or any of his friends, I think the best thing you can do now is to find a good counselor who specializes in women who've been in abusive relationships, so you can get to the bottom of why you stayed in this relationship as long as you did.
Sheri