very grateful

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2007
very grateful
20
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 2:45am

i was looking at six months worth of my posts about my breakup, and i just wanted to thank everyone who's helped me. this is so late, i know! but i've always felt so appreciative of everyone's input and support.


during the breakup, i saw how ugly and self-serving

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2005
In reply to: showtime07
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 6:31pm

I agree, the advice/support on this board is so, so helpful. You sound like you've gained a lot of perspective on your relationship and have come a long way - congratulations!

>>i sometimes get these feelings of panic like "how is it that he's not in my life?" or "why did this happen!!?," crushing feelings to my heart and confidence.

Oh yes, I know what you mean. Your words were right on the money, though: balance is key. It's nice to come up for air and be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel, isn't it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2008
In reply to: showtime07
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 8:06pm
I'm not sure what you mean by "did not match up before"?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2007
In reply to: showtime07
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 8:08pm

her words and actions weren't consistent

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2007
In reply to: showtime07
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 8:09pm
many thanks. yes, it's been a long and painful journey. i dont know what state i'd be in had i not had this board to sound off. i dont keep a diary, so this has acted as one when i've felt overwhelmed.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2008
In reply to: showtime07
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 8:53pm

I don't't know... After reading your past stories I would have pegged you as my X! Not saying your like her at all b/c she is... Well, after today DEAD to me, but if you were dragging some other guy along, all the while talking to your X I mean it sounds identical! even how you use to have lots of alone time in your old apartment, and how you were a zombie and just an irritated individual. I mean if you add me to the mix... some house arrest, a new job, and messin with a married man you'd be her! I'm just playing w/you, but on a more serious note I actually could see my X having the same thoughts you had, however, she is EXTREMELY immature and self centered that she had no feelings what so ever as to hurt someone else... Just for company and someone to hang out with.


You know not long ago maybe like 2-3 weeks ago I said to her your going to go nuts when you get off house arrest, and I'm positive our relationship will suffer b/c of it... THE DAY SHE GOT OFF I DIDN'T SEE HER AGAIN! After 2 1/*2 years and sitting in with her day/night in her little room (I mean I wanted to, but she also made it seem like she wanted it to...really bad). Then she would tell her friends I was smothering her. OK well her I go on a tangent again, so let me conclude with saying it's not just me she has lost, but 2 of her closest and most loyal friends have called and emailed me concerned... saying she's not the same person anymore. As well as her extended family (WHO ROCK!)...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2008
In reply to: showtime07
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 9:04pm

Why was he repulsed by you? Have you changed in anyway since you were together (I mean as if it's not personal)? Is he still in that relationship now, or was he in it when you first broke?


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
In reply to: showtime07
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 9:28pm

really very happy for ya showtime. i really think the realization its over (acceptance) is where you start to live your life apart from your ex (i.e. emotionally).

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2007
In reply to: showtime07
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 11:50pm

thanks for your response. it does feel good to be on "the other side." ask me six months ago, and i would've sworn my life was over.


but i made it through my first major breakup. it still saddens me at times (knowing about his new rship still kinda stings), but i now understand this isn't the be-all and end-all.


i wish you lots of happiness too. kudos on being able to date. after being in an rship for so long,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
In reply to: showtime07
Wed, 03-26-2008 - 9:14am

You know, I know where you are at.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2007
In reply to: showtime07
Wed, 03-26-2008 - 3:55pm

ugh, what a painful breakup you had. well i'm glad you got through it ok, as horrible as it all was. you think you know someone...


i still haven't made up my mind about soul mates, but i do agree with you that i learned a lot through my ex. a lot about relationships, about myself, about people in general. i know the new girl stuff will sting for awhile, that's why i avoid anything even remotely ex-related. i wish it wouldn't sting, but i'm not a robot == i have feelings, so i guess that's the way

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