Very Hurtful BF..help!
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| Thu, 02-22-2007 - 12:25am |
I've been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. About 2 years ago, my family moved and I started going to college in their town. My boyfriend still lives in my hometown. We've pretty much not been getting along since I moved, since we see eachother only once a month.
Last weekend, he was supposed to visit me. His flight ended up getting cancelled, so when I found that out I went ahead and bought him a ticket to come the following morning. I called him up (I was really excited that I finally got him on a flight) and told him the good news. Instead of being happy, he told me that there was no way in hell he was coming because leaving on a Friday morning and coming home on a Sunday was absolutely ridiculous. I told him that one less night didn't matter, and I didn't understand why he didn't want to see me anymore.
He kept telling me that he was not coming and he was not interested in seeing me anymore since his original flight was cancelled. He refused to say thank you to me for buying him a ticket for the next morning (it cost me almost $450). He told me I was stupid for doing that.
Anyway, he's furious at me because I got really upset that he didn't want to see me that much. I feel that if he wanted to, he wouldn't have cared if he had to lose one night with me. His main reason was that "he didn't want to have to fly on a plane one day apart." He actually came out and said, "you're not worth the extra aggrivation."
The other night, we got to talking and he told me that he has so much animosity towards me and my family for moving. I told him that it wasn't my decision nor my fault, but he still said he will always blame me as well. We started talking about what will happen when I graduate, and I told him that I really wasn't interested in living in our hometown. I told him that I wanted to broaden my horizons and experience other things! He told me that if we ever get married he will not compromise with me on ANYTHING. He is Jewish, and I am Catholic- he told me that having Jewish children is very important to him, so I told him I would consider converting. I told him that I would be compromising with him on that, why wouldn't he compromise with me on ANYTHING? His answer was that he didn't need to compromise.
I am so upset and he doesn't care. I am in the middle of my midterm week, and I need some advice! Thanks in advance!

I'm going to save you a lot of pain, a lot of heartache, a lot of wasted tears, ok?
Honestly, based on this and other posts I've read from you in the past, I can't believe you're still with this guy. This is not new behavior for him. I obviously don't know you but it makes me sad to think that you value yourself so little.
Sheri
Sometimes men don't have the b*lls to end a relationship so they resort to treating a woman like crap until she dumps him. Show this guy who has the b*lls in this relationship and get rid of him.
YG
YG
http://twodatediva.blogspot.com/
Hi rr46 - I totally agree with Sandra.
This is the
::And by the way- this just made my blood boil....
I told him it's frustrating b/c I'd like to finish too, and he says that he tries, but it takes me forever- which it does. I'd say maybe 15 minutes. He says it takes too long, and its frustrating to him.
I'm not sure what planet your boyfriend is from (there must not be any women there) but
Here's an update..and thank you all so much for your help. I'm really glad I posted here again.
This morning I called him and was very blunt with him. I told him that I no longer wanted to be with him, and that this just was not working out anymore. I told him I had already made up my mind, and this is how it's going to be. He hung up on me and I didn't get a call from him all day.
Around 10pm tonight a blocked number called me (it's usually my best friend who doesn't show up on caller id), so I picked up b/c I was still waiting to tell her the good news. Bad news- it was him. He was sobbing telling me how much he loves me and can't live without me and he can start making things up to me. He said that he would come move to my town and be with me, and that he wanted to call my father and apologize for making me so upset the last few years.
I pretty much told him to shove it up his ***, I pointed out that in a couple of weeks he'd probably be calling me names and telling me how horrible I am. He just kept sobbing and saying I'm all he wants.
I told him not to call me anymore and that this was it. I told him things just can never work out between us.
My one worry is that he will get on a plane and come show up at my apartment. If this is to happen, or if he keeps trying to contact me, what's the best way to handle it? And why is he all of the sudden so willing to make me happy? Is there a label you can put on guys like this?
Thanks again everyone.
....."My one worry is that he will get on a plane and come show up at my apartment. If this is to happen, or if he keeps trying to contact me, what's the best way to handle it?".....
Good for you for finally standing up for yourself! Now you have to make sure you stand your ground. I would suggest that you print up your posts here so you can read them anytime you need to remind yourself why you made this decision. There are WAY
Hi rr46, I must say you got 'strong' fast. Good for you!