wait till you read THIS update - shocked

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2004
wait till you read THIS update - shocked
4
Tue, 09-14-2004 - 2:58pm
I am in absolute shock now. I just went online to my ex's profile, which has been lying dorment for over a year, only to find that he put a new picture of himself on there (a shirtless picture, one obviously meant for advertising himself to girls) back on July 20, 2004, WHILE WE WERE STILL TOGETHER!!! WE DIDN"T BREAK UP TILL LATE AUGUST!!! I am so in shock and angry and hurt, I feel like I was starting to feel a little better, now this brings me back to square one. I want to call him so bad just to let him know that I am not stupid and I know what he did to me. And he had the balls to tell me when we broke up that he always did and always will have the utmost respect for me? How is that respect? Advertising your shirtless picture and the fact that you just got a new car and putting "single" as your marital status while your still with someone? I am so upset right now I don't know what to do!
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anonymous user
Tue, 09-14-2004 - 3:21pm
Ya know what??? Forget HIM!!! What a jerk....and a coward and a horrible guy. Thank god you're not with him. Ok, that may have all been a bit harsh....sorry. But really.....he's not worth your time or energy. If you can, try to not think about him. It's great that you're angry......be angry at him!!! He deserves that anger....he DOESN'T deserve YOU!!

I know you're hurt. Finding out things after the fact is always hurtful. But I hope that you use this to move on....on to bigger and better things for you!!!

Good luck chica...things are gonna start to look brighter for you, I promise.

Karen

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Tue, 09-14-2004 - 3:39pm
You are obviously still hurt at the breakup however Im guessing that he was trying to let you go a long time before you knew about it and was just waiting for the right time. When their relationship is taking a tumble and they're not communicating it to eachother- sometimes they will list themselves as single- once they get enough hits- they take the plunge into single hood. Unfortunatly its hurtful to you because you were unaware of his problem in the relationship. But since its over you cant dwell on it anymore- just look at it as another positive to have him out of your life. Sometimes people dont find out that their spouses or xs were cheating on them until after the breakup- this happens more than you know. But atleast it was at the end of your relationship and not the whole time- and if it was- just another reason to move on. You could call him and voice your oppinion however this wont get you anywhere- it will make him think- she went out of her way to check up on me because shes not over me(more ammo for him in his mind) Use this info later incase he comes back later- then you can inform him of this. Going out of your way will only make things worse. hope things work out stacy
Avatar for iamdelightful
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-14-2004 - 5:47pm
That is very upsetting, and I really, really feel for you. But is there any chance that the date could be wrong? I don't mean to excuse what he did, but time stamps on pc's are notoriously unreliable ... Again, I don't mean to minimize your situation. I understand that this is very hurtful. But instead of focusing on the hurt, focus on the anger. You don't want to be with someone who could do that to you. You want a man who will be faithful. How's your recovery coming along? If you broke up in August, you should be well on your way to healing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2004
Tue, 09-14-2004 - 5:51pm
I'm sorry for your hurt. Unfortunately, you will find that with divorce, comes alot of "firsts" for you. Divorce....it just keeps on giving.

And....alot of those "firsts" hurt. I think that if you confront him, it will take you to his level. There is no point in it.

The sad thing is that we have to admit to ourselves that we are no longer a part of their lives. (Unless, we have children, then we are bound together as long as the children are living, to them.)

I say not to say anything. Pride in oneself does count for something.

Just remember, that he may have been into more than you know. If you discuss with him, it could bring those things up, thus hurting you more or make you feel worse than you do.

Have faith....the only thing that heals is time. It seems to drag at first, but take everything one day at a time.

Wishing you happiness.