Wake me up when this disaster ends

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2006
Wake me up when this disaster ends
4
Sun, 02-12-2006 - 6:41pm
Me and my boyfriend were together 3 beautiful years. We have a wonderful 17month old, We also each have two boys from other relationships. We were a premade family, BUt loving it. About 3 weeks ago we got into a heated discussion on a drive home. Instead of talking it threw he walked out on us. He has seen his daughter once sence the break up. We had a talk the other night and hes decided that he no longer wants this and is looking else where. I feel like im dying inside. MY whole world has taken a dive. We were planning our wedding for the fall of next year, Everything was picture perfect then out of the blue hes gone. When I do get to talk to him he shows no remorse. LIke he doesn't care. Is that possible? He doesn't call, Email, Half the time were suposta meet up he doesn't show. HOw do you go from a happy family of five to a broken family? But most important how does he get over three years like it was three days?
I need advice, IM so lost.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2005
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 2:04pm

I'm sorry to hear about your situation, I know it is really painful.

Nikki
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2006
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 10:05pm
I talked to him this morning after several times of trying to get hold of him. He says it was my attitude that drew him away. I can't say I've had one to speak of. The only grouchiness ive been going threw is because of a wisdom tooth nothing thats emplyed at him. It's no worse then a girl with PMS. I know him and I can hear in his voice that he's going threw some issues. I think he likes to be chased too. He likes the thought of me begging him and running for him. The way I look at it is if he didn't care for me or even if his feelings for me were gone he probably wouldn't talk to me when i call. i don't know...im trying to peice things together. thanks for the advie, it helps more then words could tell.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 9:19am

brokendown318...

Pianoguy would like to offer a male perspective on your situation...which you (or any ivillager) can agree or disagree with.

If you're acting nasty toward your b/f....can you blame him for wanting to stay away? Most men want to avoid being in the middle of "verbal crossfire" if there's a lot of it around! So we'll either take off, spend extra time at work, or just completely disappear!

Granted...you both have children (your own and those by previous relationships) and the 2 of you have a responsibility where they're concerned. However, NO CHILD can make disharmony between a couple DISAPPEAR!

While your b/f might have a wisdom tooth problem or enjoy the thought of "being chased" by you...the two of you need to seriously look at what you ACTUALLY HAVE TOGETHER! If the 2 of you believe it's a relationship worth saving....get some joint counselling. If you just want to bitch and irritate one another....what's the point of letting the cycle continue?

This is NOT a lifestyle that YOU...or anybody else...should have to live!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2006
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 1:13pm
I've been the one whose been slightly moody due to the toothach. I decided a few days ago im not gonna bother chasing him anymore, If it's meant to be it will. I don't agree with him taking off cause of a dumb spit fight, its kinda childish. We all make our own choices and it's apparent hes made his. Ever sence I've stopped trying to work it out he's shown up at my house. I haven't been home either of the times but it kinda makes me wonder. This is his 5th time walking out on us, as far as im concerned, im done. I really dont care what he wants anymore, the BS hes put me and my kids threw has to end. IM sure there is some poor dumbass out there he can push around, but it wont be me.
thanks for your opinon