Waking up...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2004
Waking up...
15
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 4:36am
I'm 8 days in...some days have been easier than others, but when do you get to the point that when you wake up they are not immediately in your head?..It's not so bad when i go to sleep because I think I'v just exhausted myself throughout the day.. I just hate it, as soon as I open my eyes I'm replaying everything..when does this stop? I just want to feel peace.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
In reply to: heatherp3406
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 7:48am
I remember that feeling..... For the first split second you awake, you almost have amnesia and life is perfect, then suddenly you remember the loss and you immediately feel the pain like you're finding out for the first time.

Honestly, after about 10 mornings like that, I either got used to the feeling or just didn't even think about it. Time honestly does heal all and your life will change and mold to where his absense isn't as painful, just more familiar.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
In reply to: heatherp3406
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 9:33am
I'd like to know the answer to that question as well....I don't have any good news for you, I'm on day 24 and it seems to only be getting worse. My mind is consumed with him more now than it was the first week it seems..........I've tried to stay busy, I'm really never home but no matter what I do, when I do get home, it all comes back and the mornings are the worst.

I'm sorry to hear about your pain, it really does suck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2004
In reply to: heatherp3406
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 9:41am
It's been a month and I still have those thoughts everyday. He is the last thing I think of before sleeping and the first thing in the mornning. I even have dreams with him in them most nights. The only good thing is that I don't wake up in the middle of the night anymore wondering why he didn't call me that night, only to remember that he won't do that anymore. I cry myself to sleep most night's begging which ever higher being willing to listen to take the pain away, make me stop loving him. I want peace too, just one moment where he does not dominate my entire being.

But as was said before, we've made it through another day and will make it through another and another. And one day we won't even give these guys a second thought and we will be healed and will be ourselves again. But until than - cry as much as you need to, post until you can't type anymore, scream & yell and do whatever you need to get through the day.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2004
In reply to: heatherp3406
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 11:18am
i'm afraid i don't have an answer to your question, but i am comforted, and maybe you should be too, in the fact that this is the exact same thing i am experiencing. By the end of the day, i've had enough interaction with friends, family, coworkers, etc, that it just pushes that guy right out of my head. in fact, i don't even dream about him. But as soon as i wake up in the morning, there he is (well, there he isn't to be more exact)and i have to start all over. it makes mornings at work a wee bit difficult (thank god my office has a door i can close).

I've only gone for 5 days so far.

Maybe I do have an answer after all....They say it takes at least 3 weeks to break a bad habit...so i'm thinking that it probably takes about 3 weeks at the very least to get over a guy. I guess i'll just start counting the days. and if by the end of three weeks, i'm still not over him, then i will start to worry.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2004
In reply to: heatherp3406
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 12:06pm
Man, I feel the same. It has been 2 weeks for me and the mornings are horrible. But it does help if I get out of bed ASAP instead of letting it have time to take over my thoughts. If you get outta bed fast, it eases you into the day a bit more easily. But its a terrible pain. Its funny because I don't think these feelings are following any kinda pattern of diminishing or getting stronger. Its way more of a roller coaster although I feel like I am missing him more and more.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
In reply to: heatherp3406
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 1:26pm
It really varies from person to person. Believe me, I understand how you feel: Every night I go to sleep trying not to think about her, sometimes staying up late so I can have a good nights sleep and NOT wake up at 3:30 feeling alone and scared and cold. And it's been 2 weeks for me.

Get up and get moving right away. Stay busy and try to remain positive for as long as you can - self assurance can do wonders. Talk to yourself out loud and reinforce your stregnths. I know it sounds crazy, but it helps. Instead of constantly feeling anxiety over our loss, it gets a little easier day after day. Sometimes it's the old cliche, "Two steps forward, one step back". I know I have A LOT of steps forward still - I'm in a deep depression now - but stay positive that it WILL GET EASIER.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
In reply to: heatherp3406
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 3:10pm
I think it is time again that really helps, I remember just the other day I couldn't think of a reason to get up, I laid there depressed as hell about my situation and what I was going through...but I thought I am this sad over him?? If he knew, he would think I was really obsessing, and of course I was, so then I thought this might be the day that I either see him in a new light, or run into someone else that might actually distract me for awhile. I made it through the day and the next was better and this morning I was thinking wow, I've only thought of him once so far, hmmm. And smiled abit, the sun was shining and I knew I was ok. Keep going! Keep venting and posting, it will get better!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2004
In reply to: heatherp3406
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 3:54pm
Heatherp,

I am in the same situation as you. It's been one week since my BF broke up with me, and still..no matter what...it is the very first thing I think of when I wake up in the morning. I don't know if it's because I feel like something is missing, if it's because I am dreading facing the day, or if I just can't wait to get back into bed at night...I don't know! Yes, for some reason the mornings are hardest for me, too. It's weird. All I can say is these things take time, and after a while it'll be OK and before you know it, you will be waking up in the morning thinking about nothing at all!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2004
In reply to: heatherp3406
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 11:14pm
Don't start worrying if it takes you longer than 3 weeks to get over him.

I remember those days that I would wake up thinking about him and dream about him all the time. They start dying down. I'm not sure when it was for me. I'm at 4 months now and yes I still think of him at least once if not more everyday but it isn't as upsetting anymore. It definitely is a process and it takes time so don't give up! I'm still going through the process, but I know I'll get there one day. I do like my life now. It gets lonely sometimes, but its ok you are use to someone always being there what do you expect? It is nice though because I have been making strides in the direction I want my life to go and I don't have anyone stopping me. So keep up the good work ladies!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2004
In reply to: heatherp3406
Fri, 06-04-2004 - 1:09am
I like how positive your post was. For me at least, it's really important to acknowledge the things I am doing right, the steps I have taken that have helped me, no matter how small. The first few days, waking up and getting out of bed is a huge accomplishment. Getting out of bed enough to come here and post is a big deal too. I think it's important to congratulate yourself for doing that much. Acknowledging that you've taken one step, no matter how small, makes the next step that much more attainable. Once I knew I could take that first step, it gave me more confidence that I could do more things to make myself better.

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