want him back

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2006
want him back
2
Tue, 05-15-2007 - 9:35pm
I need some advice. My partner of nearly 2 years (we were engaged) broke things off nearly 2 weeks ago. he's a single dad to two teenage girls (who adore me), their mum having passed away. he told me that he 'wasn't coping' with looking after the everyday stuff for his kids and juggling me in there as well. we had a similar conversation last year and broke up for a weekend, but we managed to work things through. this time, he decided to make the decision by himself without communicating with me, and is being really stubborn about going back. the actual break-up was a bit nasty, but we've been talking, and yesterday he said he was still feeling the same (that he'd made the right decision) but he was listening to reason and actually seemed to be softening a bit. he said he hasn't slept and lost heaps of weight, and was hurting too. my problem is, i want him back but am not sure if i should push, if i should have any hope, if i should give him space, if i should just move on? the situation wasn't easy and i often wondered if it was what i wanted, but i love and miss him dearly and want him in my life. not sure what to do.....
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 05-16-2007 - 6:55am

Hi curlylocks,


Be careful what you ask for....read earthenangels update...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Sun, 05-20-2007 - 11:48pm

I guess the thing that's so telling about your story is the part where he feels he has to juggle taking care of his children vs. giving you time. In a family, all that is taken care of together as a team, so somehow, he felt he wasn't going to have that dynamic in his life with you? Why would that be? Do you ask for or demand too much time alone with him or for him to put you somewhat above his children? Is he just not over that last hump of bringing 'another woman' into his family?

See with clear and open eyes how the two of you have handled (or not) this little crisis and ask yourself if a marriage could possibly survive with this lack of coping skills/communication you both seem to have. Even if you got back together, this problem between you would still remain, only then, you'd possibly be looking on the loveless marriages or even divorce boards. Fix the communication problems before things go any further with this man.

Be careful what you wish for and good luck,

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