wants me back, but......
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| Tue, 06-05-2007 - 8:43am |
I'm a little mad. My bf broke up with me about a month ago... then last week he said that I should have gone to his work to talk to prove that I really cared. Now last night he sends me a text message saying that he wants me back but I have to change alot of things but he can't change any of his ways. I don't know about you guys, but I always thought that it takes two to create relationship issues. Why do I have to change but he can stay the same? It's like he is playing stupid games with me and I have to be the perfect little gf and just take whatever he gives me. So if he wants to be jerk one day then that's ok because he thinks he has all this control over me.... like it's a privilege to be with him. As if he is so perfect and does nothing wrong. Oh.. and this was all via text message. When I asked him to explain what he wanted me to change, he sent me a text back saying that he couldn't talk because he was sleeping and that we should talk in person.
I think that I am understandably mad because he started this talk after midnight. Then, when I want an explanation, he blows me off. So I am left to think about it all night. I think he could have told me what he wanted changed so that I could think about it and process everything and make a rational decision about him, what he wants and what I want.
Has anyone had a situation like this? Is this just some control game? I just don't know what to think. I love him but I have this weird feeling today basically saying that he is just lonely and I am comfortable and it would be easier for him to be back with me, then to work for someone new right now. Maybe that thought is just my insecurities?

Me Me!!! I'm going through it!
My ex calls me, he's so unhappy, he's only felt real happiness when he's with me, he loves me, he misses me, blah, blah blah, he's moving in with his ex girlfriend for "financial reasons" but there is nothing between them and he feels nothing for her. Which call me naieve but I do believe him that there is nothing between them and that he doesn't have feelings for her but at the same time he is committing to her and not to me. What does he want? I've tried everything - giving him space, giving him time, nagging, begging, giving reasonable action steps, supporting him, questioning him, making him draw his own conclusions and still he swears he wants me but he DOES NOTHING about it! What does he want from me!!!!!????? And when I ask him what he wants he says he wants me to wait, but then he says that its unfair for me to have to wait. Then he says Trust Me, but then he says he doesn't know how things will turn out.
Well if you don't know than I don't know. And his boss told me that I have to fight for HIM. WTF!? Huh?
There was a line from Grey's Anatomy that just about sums it up: Too often the thing we want most in life is the one thing we can't have.....but the people who suffer most are those who don't know what they want.
It must suck for him to be this confused and this paralyzed by it. I've tried to help him but he knows hes the one who has to physically take the steps and he just won't.
So I don't know what guys expect from us. You try to tell them what to do and that's no good for them, they feel smoothered, you leave them alone and they feel abandoned. Observe the rock and hard place.
Hi sonny,
Regardless of all the other things you are mad about (which you are entitled to feel) are his terms of getting back together with you acceptable?