was it right to break up
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was it right to break up
| Mon, 03-19-2007 - 7:22am |
I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 5 months because he still wants to date to other people and I don't. He is 29 to my 37. He has many great qualities and we have had some great times. But history has taught me that if the guy isn't fully into you waiting doesn't necessarily mean he will change his mind. He told me he hasn't played the field enough and isn't ready to settle down with one person. I told him that was fair and that I respected his feelings but that I wasn't looking for a casual relationship. He told me I was immature to give up what we had. He said that choosing to be alone vs staying with him was a mistake. He said he hadn't been dating anyone else. I say wether he has or hasn't isn't the real point. The point is he wants to and he wants to be allowed to should the opportunity arise. To me that says part of him is thinking he can do better. Or maybe he is commitment shy. Either way I feel I am bound to get hurt if I let the relationship keep going like this.
Was I too hasty?
Was I too hasty?

Welcome to the board bpowers26.
::Was I too hasty?
Not just no, but HECK NO.
Way to take charge over your own life!!!
Hi bpowers26,
First of all, anything I say I don't mean to upset you. I'm new on the board and I am not quite sure how to word things. So here goes:
I read over your note and I am having a hard time believing that instead of patting yourself (and I mean give yourself a really BIG pat) on the back and jumping up and down because you made a decision for YOU, you're waivering and making excuses for him. You were honest with him, you told him you weren't looking for a casual relationship..so he thinks its a "immature" decision. Who cares???? You shouldn't...you stood up for yourself,(YOU make me proud to be a woman) you knew what you wanted out of your relationship and when you weren't getting it, you were honest, compassionate and forthright. Not to mention...you stuck by your guns...don't waiver now, you already said you know you do not want a casual relationship...so why are you questioning yourself?
I think you should be proud of yourself, you should let him play the field, and then, finally, you can find someone who thinks your his world..someone who wants only you and you can have that not-so-casual relationship you have been waiting for.