Was our EX ever really our friend?
Find a Conversation
| Sun, 09-05-2004 - 1:01pm |
Reading other's posts on the board, it seems there are some men who end their relationships in decent human ways. Its still awful and hurtful, but some dumpers
show some empathy for their EX's feelings. Then there are others (like my EX) who just smashes your ego into the ground, still stomping on it 4 months later.
Could a real friend lie, cheat and treat you with no respect or kindness after sharing your life for 7 years. Even if you fall out of love with someone, you don't fall out of friendship, or release your responsibility of being a decent human being and treating the person you use to care about like a decent human being. I know with my friends I couldn't stop caring for them overnight, like my EX stopped caring for me.
It just makes me question, what signs did I miss. How does this happen, that you're in this relationship and feel like your spouse would never do anything to hurt you, they are your best friend. Then overnight their allegiance to you is placed on another and all your history and friendship together just disappears. I now know I don't want my EX back, it's taken me a lot of tears and pain to get to this place. But it still really hurts feeling like I was duped, that I put so much energy into our life together and it wasn't enough. After all our time together it wasn't even enough to secure some resemblance of friendship on his way out.
Thanks for listening!

In my own experience, I've found it next to impossible to maintain a friendship with any ex, primarily because when a break-up occurs, the guy shows his fangs and claws. That kind of crap always makes me run in the **opposite** direction. And then they wonder why I don't want to be friends or maintain contact! Perhaps they may think of it as hurtful that I don't leave myself open and vulnerable to their games, but I tend to cut guys off as soon as things turn ugly. I'm not into remaking or trying to convert a jackass into a respectful gentleman. Frankly, I'm too old and life is too short.
It is clear to me that you're better off without your ex. If he could move on so quickly and treat you callously in the process, then you don't even need him as a friend. Neither does his new girl, but he's her problem now.
Be glad he's out of your life.
All the best,
Heymum