We broke up , need advice please
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| Thu, 04-27-2006 - 11:17pm |
Help please!
My ex and I dated for a year and a half. While I progressed very fast in the relationship, he was taking a lot longer. He had been heartbroken in the past, then broke someone's heart, then he dated me. Needless to say, he has love issues. Also, We kind of did things backwards. We were roommates before dating, so we lived together in the early stages of our relationship. When our lease was up, we moved apart and we were really getting into the swing of things. Then, hurricane Katrina came and we evacuated to parents. we lived at my parents for a month before getting another apartment together. Under the circumstances, it was really the only thing to do. He ended up moving to the city w/ me and got a new job. Through all of this, I loved him more and more. I felt like getting through the adversity made me love him more. While he did have strong feelings for me, he never got to the point of saying "I love you". The longer the relationship went on, the more I focused on the fact that he didn't say it yet. Eventually every argument turned into a conversation about why he hadnt said it. Three weeks ago, i broke up with him over it.
The night before last we had a 2.5 hour phone conversation. We both thought it would be very weird and awkward, but it wasnt at all. It was actually the best conversation he have ever had. He was so open and honest about everything. He told me that there were a number of times that he almost said he loved me, but he was worried that he wasnt at the point where i was still. He said he had wanted to stay with it longer to see if we could get there, but he knew that i was being hurt. He told me that i am the only girlfriend he has ever had that he honestly could not think 1 bad thing about. He also said things like, it is strange, but he feels like it isnt real, like he could call me up and we would go do something this weekend. I reminded him it was real and that could not happen quite yet. He also kept thinking of the what ifs. He said he wondered where our relationship would be if we were still in N.O. and the hurricane never happened. He said he thinks, since the hurricane kind of ruined our momentum that we would still be together.
After talking, i wish i had not broken up with him. I know that I need to be with someone who loves me, obviously. But it seems like he does, he just has issues saying it still. I guess, I would like to know how to go about trying to repair this relationship. I know that i can't control what he does, says or feels. But i can control what i do. Should i just continue w/ my life and try to be as happy as possible to make him see what he is missing? Should we schedule times to see each other as friends, or should i not see him at all? I am just clueless about this because i have never been in this situation. Any advice on how to try to get back with him, or how to get over him would be appreciated!

hi aimeenp
let me tell you something about the L word. i'm a lady. i never say i loveyou to my Bf. even i love him truely. i know its weird. i rather say to a guy that i'm just messing around that i love him but dont mean to say it. get that?
i think I rather let the man show it to me that saying it. BELIEVE ME THATS THE BEST PART!!
GOOD LUCK AND STAY POSITIVE
I wanted to write to you because while our situations aren't exact, some things about your post struck a familiar chord.
Oh, no, I'm so sorry to hear that!
Sheri
Thanks Sheri :)