We just broke up..& i really need advise
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We just broke up..& i really need advise
| Wed, 09-01-2004 - 11:09am |
A little background, we have been daitng for a month, after the one month i was planning to spend some quailty time with him. You know dinner, movie and the stuff at his apartment afterwords. The whole time we were open and honest with each other. Told me from the start that i was not intersted in sex at this time, i want to get to know him before we got heavy. He trusted me and said thats fine i am not goin gto push you into anything u don't want to do. All i asked him to do in the relationship was to quit smoking, amd he said let me do it on my own and he promised he would quit. He cut down and just about quit and then this past monday i met him at worked asked him if he was going to be home and he said yes, prior to that he when to the Manitwac county fair and i asked how it was. Just asking, right, so anyway that monday i ran some arrans went to work decided on a couple of places to take him out to. Went shopping to get some sexy underware for afterwards, while shopping he calls me and says he's running late and that he would be at the apartment after 730pm. So i finished shopping went to the apartment and waited a few minutes. He shows up comes over to my car and says whats up like he always does. I said not much, u ready to go and can i change out of my work cloths before we go. He says sure u can do that. Lets me in, but i didn't change. He says this isn't going to be easy. I said what i just asked u what underware would u like me to wear, he answers it doesn't matter. I said why, he sits down and says i have sommething to tell u. I said what, your breaking up with me, he says i have to. I said go drop off Sam (she's the old roomates gf, they derek and Sam don't have a working car so Jon my bf at the time took themm to work once in awhile) So he took her home comes back and says lets talk. I said why Jon, what did i do or say, he said its nothing like that, i said if i said anything i was upset with the fair, but i don't care that u went, i would have like to been there with u, but i had to work. All i wanted was to spend some time with u this weekend. He answers i know, but i knew u had to work. (C I didn't care that he went out or anyhting, i know were not married, so i gave me his space. I never told him to do anyhting, where anyhting, i just asked him ti be himself, all i wanted is to be in your company, i don't care how much money, education, or anything like that i loved him for who he is/was and what he/ we did together) (While dating we went out a couple of times he paid the first, i the second, which didn't matter who paid what matter is that we were togther out having fun, having a good time and we talk all the time, we never kept anything from each other)
So, when he told be that he was breaking up with me i asked why, and he never realy gave me a reason. I even asked and he told me that i can't put it in words, and that the feeling he had in the beginning went away. (C he had a feeling that i was the one and i had the same, actually i still have the feeling, i just think that something came up and he needs to work it out and then come back, So my best friend said just give him some space and u will c he will be back, but i told he i am not going back to him i am letting him come back to me, because he broke it off and didn't give me a reason)
So, when he told be that he was breaking up with me i asked why, and he never realy gave me a reason. I even asked and he told me that i can't put it in words, and that the feeling he had in the beginning went away. (C he had a feeling that i was the one and i had the same, actually i still have the feeling, i just think that something came up and he needs to work it out and then come back, So my best friend said just give him some space and u will c he will be back, but i told he i am not going back to him i am letting him come back to me, because he broke it off and didn't give me a reason)
So am i right to give him some space, although we gave each other plenty of space,?
Do you think he will come back?
I will take any input....please give me some advise!!!!
Signatures On
| Wed, 09-01-2004 - 10:14pm |
Welcome to the board!!! I'm so sorry things between you and Jon aren't going so well. By the way, I think it was really rude for him to start breaking up with you while someone else was there. I hate to say this and I hope I'm wrong....but I have a feeling (based on your post and that's it so it very well could be wrong) that he isn't coming back and I can't help but wonder if he met someone else. As I said I hope I'm wrong. But all you can do now is let him be...live your life and let him live his.....and if he realizes he made a mistake, he knows how to contact you. Good luck, I wish you the best. And we're here to help if you need us.

| Tue, 09-07-2004 - 4:07pm |
Woaha! U were pretty in depth there- you need to concider the time you spent with him- it was a month. He doesnt sound mature. A month is a short amount of time to be using the word love in your sentences. It is better for you to have him leave now then 5 years from now. I wouldnt waist time wondering- if you beat yourself up over this one, youll wonder why so much time was wasted. Any time spent with someone whether it was 2 days to 20 years is going to be hard but others will come along. There are more single men out there than women and that is one reason to let this one go! Chalk this one up to just a great month. Woman always need answers to why men leave them when if you are totaly confident in yourself, you wont ever need answers- because suddenly your relationships that go bad become your bad choices and not something you beat yourself up over( was it something I did? Could I have prevented it? etc) Go on and enjoy dating- dont beat yourself up over one bad seed- because he was most likely the one with the problem( in himself) not someone you should get back into a relationship with. If he left you once for a bogus reason- he'll do it again.
