Week one meltdown

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
Week one meltdown
2
Mon, 06-20-2005 - 6:06pm

Hey all,

It's been exactly a week since I ended it with him, b/c of his commitment issues. I was doing okay, purposely making myself busy from the time I woke till the time I went to bed, falling asleep exhausted. Now I'm off work all this week and going to the beach the end of the week with a family member who has a wonderful adoring husband and a beautiful precious daughter. I need to get away, but how will I be able to stand it? This morning when I was lying in bed crying into my pillow I thought about just swimming out to sea.

I wonder if I made the right decision. I looked at another message board, and there are some perfectly happy women who have been with their SO's for many more years than I have, but only now at the 4, 5, 8 year mark they're pushing the marriage envelope, and I was only at the 1 1/2 year mark. But I had to do what I felt was right for me, deep down.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2004
Mon, 06-20-2005 - 6:13pm
I do not know your whole story, but if you felt that it was right to break it off..then I am sure you had valid reasons. I know that I have left/broken up with men in the past and it did hurt me. It is not like people think that if we are the ones breaking it off that we will be happy. It is a grieving process for both. It is the end of something and no matter what that can hurt.
You just need to keep up trying to stay active and know that you have support here if you need to talk.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2005
Mon, 06-20-2005 - 11:51pm
Hi, I don't really know the specifics of your situation (was he a jerk, etc) but I just ended my year relationship because my boyfriend was afraid of commitment. It has been 5 days and, like you, I have managed to keep busy and not think about it. My advice to you is that your instinct to break up with him is most likely correct. If he is afraid of commitment today, it is unlikely he will change without counseling of some sort. I can't really say much more because I don't know the situation, but I know that you deserve someone who appreciates you and wants to commit the rest of his life to you. He should be so passionate about you that he never wants to let you go. Believe me, I understand the pain because I'm going through it now. But it WILL get better (or at least I'm telling myself that). It is hard to end things with someone you love so much but you should never settle for anything less than you deserve. Be strong. Email me if you want to.
haylopotato99@yahoo.com