the weekends are so hard

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2007
the weekends are so hard
6
Sun, 10-21-2007 - 7:23pm

hi there. i posted here a couple times before. my boyfriend broke up with me about 4 weeks ago. there has been no contact at all since he broke up with me. i did email him the day after, to say my peace, sort of say bye, but i have not heard a peep out of him. it is really painful, i know it was only

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Sun, 10-21-2007 - 9:14pm

Actually I've mentioned this story before, but it's probably gotten lost in the posts on this board.

My mom has a friend who married in her late 50s. She'd really resigned herself to singlehood by that time, so it was a surprise to all. And who do you think she married? A very wealthy executive (maybe the pres, I forget) with colgate (the toothpaste company). So don't despair yet. Good things DO come to people who wait.

cheers

- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2007
Sun, 10-21-2007 - 9:24pm

thanks susanna. i am not quite 50, actually 35. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2006
Sun, 10-21-2007 - 9:53pm

I'm sorry you're going through this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Sun, 10-21-2007 - 10:00pm

I think I'm a firm believer in fate. You'll end up getting what you were meant to get, though how you get there is your choice, if you understand my logic. If the two of you are meant to be together at the end, nothing can stand in the way. And there's a measure of comfort in knowing that there's a higher power taking care of where you go and you only need to worry about making sure you grow in yourself.

On the other hand, I think there's a fair amount of people that any one person can be compatible with. See him as merely one of them and you loved enough to try and flesh out a future with him. There's nothing barring you from doing it again. At 35 you're in you prime. You're finally have all the experience you need to etch out a future AND a stable family with someone. In a much better position than, say, my cousins, who are now divorced single mothers after marrying at 18 and 19.

4 weeks isn't a lot of time, per say. There are times now, even 4 (maybe 5, I forget) months down the road, I catch myself wondering for a moment if my ex thinks about me. But what I DO know is that even if he's moved on, one day you're going to run across his mind and he's going to wonder what happened to you. Perhaps he'll wonder if he made the biggest mistake in his life. And who knows? Perhaps by then you'll have found the someone that made you understand why you weren't with any of the people you'd dated before.

All the best

- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2007
Mon, 10-22-2007 - 11:52am

thanks. this board is very helpful. while i wish everyone could be happy, it helps knowing there are lots of people out there going through the same things. i did make a mistake though. i have only one picture of him, not a good one, on my email, and i had not looked at it in 4 weeks. i looked at it yesterday and man it made me sad. and it made me have dreams about him again. a big mistake. do not look at old photos.


and that book, i finished it. eh. made me feel worse, not better. i do not suggest it. basically the girl gets to 41, has a broken engagement and is a-ok, saying that maybe her mother was right, that people who want to be married are married, so maybe she just does not want to, after of course she was depressed and lamented her singledom for 6-7 years. now she is fine. whatever. not a helpful book.


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 10-22-2007 - 12:44pm

Hi ibiscool,


Here's your previous post for others to catch up on your story if need be:


wish i could make sense of things


There will be good days and bad days and weekends are hardest for most people going through a break up.