Weekends SUCK!
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| Sat, 03-10-2007 - 7:54pm |
I'm trying to be good here, NC for 7 days now, won't have to see him at work again until Thursday, trying to stay busy... but this is so hard! The urge to text is lessening, but it seems the more time I have on my hands, the more my mind wanders to him and what is really going on. I posted something very similar to this last weekend too. It's the being alone that kills me.
I have 9 more days to go until I'm going to approach him with talking to me... I don't feel good about things. I think he's going to either say he still doesn't know, or that it's over. I wonder a lot if he's done this just because he knows I'm a decisive person and I'll end it if he doesn't have the guts to. I'm just making myself sick. :(
I'll say this, it's easier now for me than day one, it's almost like you got a bad burn. At first it's painful all the time. Then it starts to heal and you get that sick urge to mess with it a little. And now you're leaving it alone, but it still hurts like hell if anything gets close to it. I feel like I'm waiting for it to just be a scar. A battle wound.
Anyway, I think I'm single handedly keeping Blockbuster in business! :) I'm renting all the stuff I haven't been able to watch lately. Anyone have any good recs, favorite movies? Something to distract me? I think I watched the end of Garden State five times last night. That's what I want to happen to me. One can hope.

Oh, another movie I kind of like, it's called Sliding Doors, Gwyneth Paltrow is in it. It's all about how the smallest things we do can really have a huge impact on our lives. I think it's a good post-breakup movie. You should check it out!
Shrinking Violet--
I know what you mean about weekends.... they do suck!
My ex and I have been broken up since New Years (2 1/2 mts ago) yet it feels like just a wk or so. I'm doing pretty well but then the weekend comes and I dred it. I don't have enough things to keep me busy so I'm bored which give me time to stew and think and wonder. I'm okay not being with him (I think) but I know he's got another g/f and I'm not okay with that. I'm also wtg to hear back from a job back in my home area in upstate NY, so I'm afraid that I'll never see or talk to him again. I just keep telling myself that when I do to, make it a fresh start and be me again!
He and I have gone days with not talking since the break up. He won't call on weekends and I don't call him. He would normally call me during the week just to tell me or ask me stupid things like: don't forget we have to pay the rent this week, has my brother been home, is his room clean, how's the dog etc. I've been pretty good about not calling him at all. But since he called me on my way home from my interview Tues night, he said he'd call me the next day to see how things were going. I told him he didn't have to call, I was just fine. Well he hasn't called since and now it's been 5 days. I know this is good but now it's the weekend and I'm wondering why now. It sucks.
Thank god tomorrow is Monday again and I get to go to work--who wants to go to work?
ME ME ME ME ME ME ME!!!!!
Movies:
The Departed
The Guardian
Me, You, and Dupree
**If you're looking for some cute light-hearted movies check out the Disney Channel or ABC Family on TV. I know it's queer that I watch them at 34 yrs old but they're thoughtless and are pretty funny too.
Weekends are tough. I know how that feels...My ex and I used to spend Friday nights together, and typically some time on Sunday, too. Thankfully, I am a single mom (wow, never thought I'd say that) and my daughter (who is 14) keeps me VERY busy with her stuff (sports). But, I do get that "I wonder what he's doing right now" vibe running through my head alot. It helps to just think "he's home alone, too, and very MISERABLE" and be done with it! LOL Not the greatest in thought stopping techniques, but, it works most of the time.
I LOVED this comment:
"I'll say this, it's easier now for me than day one, it's almost like you got a bad burn. At first it's painful all the time. Then it starts to heal and you get that sick urge to mess with it a little. And now you're leaving it alone, but it still hurts like hell if anything gets close to it. I feel like I'm waiting for it to just be a scar. A battle wound."
That is SO true. There is an old saying - "that which does not kill you only makes you stronger". I fully believe that is related to relationships. Especially the one I just got out of.
I'm at a point where my ex and I had been on rocky ground since about October 2005 (YIKES). Neither of us could/would end it. We were living together, and I finally told him he had to move out - which he did in May 06. That should have been the END of the relationship right there, but for some twisted reason, we kept at it...and all it did was get worse. We broke up the day after Thanksgiving, got back together for about 3 weeks, then split up again on New Year's Eve. I went 45 days of NO contact - no emails, no phone calls, no driving by, no making up excuses to talk to him - then he got back in touch with me. I was doing awesome - and to this day, I TOTALLY regret that we got back together AGAIN. But after 2 weeks, it was apparent to me that it was NOT going anywhere. So I called it off. Do I miss him? Yes, I do. Do I still care for him? Of course. But, the most important thing is that I have learned a lot about what I will and will NOT put up with in a relationship. I want/need to focus on ME. If I find someone else, fine, but I need to be OK about NOT being in a relationship before I can move forward.
As for movies and stuff to do: I recommend Dirty Dancing, ANYTHING with Adam Sandler, or rent the season DVDs of your favorite TV show.
Other things you can do: volunteer somewhere - at an animal shelter, a homeless shelter, become a tutor, become a Big Sister, etc. Helping someone else is a GREAT way to make you realize JUST EXACTLY how good you have it, and even if your heart is breaking, life COULD BE much worse.
Also - make a list of 'pros and cons' regarding your ex. Typically, the CONS list is much bigger than the PROS...keep that list with you at ALL TIMES...and whenever you get the urge to call or start to miss him - pull it out and remember WHY you are better off alone!
Contact me anytime to talk!
As for the Blockbuster thing I totally agree and I sometimes think its me who's keeping them in business also.
One thing that I always love to watch is Sex and the City. I just rent a whole season, stay in, relax and watch the episodes.
That show is GENIUS!
~Amber
Someone on here mentioned they actually wanted to go to work on Monday. I KNOW the feeling. And since my breakup, paid holidays are not as good as they should be because all it is to me is a day for me to think about him all day, and a day where he'll be out enjoying himself, as he has been since he broke up with me :)
Keep up the NC, watch those good movies, and you'll start feeling better little by little!