Weird post-breakup feelings

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Weird post-breakup feelings
3
Mon, 05-01-2006 - 1:56pm

Hi all, I have a small question, maybe someone can shed some light on what's going on.


My boyfriend of 8+ months just recently broke up with me, a week ago as of tomorrow night.

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-01-2006 - 2:12pm

I've had a couple similar experiences...the common thread for me has been me recognizing on a very basic level that the breakup was the right decision, whether for timing reasons or otherwise.

That's not to say that there hasn't been a later backlash or letdown--when it really starts to sink in that it's over. So just be prepared for that.

It also makes sense that you'd feel this way due to the fact that it was a "good" breakup. I think much of the pain we go through is not understanding what happened, especially if we're not the one to initiate the breakup. Your ex took the time to really talk to you...that's important.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Mon, 05-01-2006 - 4:11pm

Thanks, Sheri.

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-01-2006 - 4:49pm

Hopefully you'll be able to reconnect as friend soon. The key is letting go of and moving past any romantic feelings you have for him. The test I use for whether I'm ready to reconnect as friends with an ex is imagining that I call him and he tells me all about his wonderful new GF. If I get upset at the thought, then I know I'm not ready yet!

It might be 3-4 months, it might be longer. I personally never think of no contact in terms of "never again", I think of it in terms of "not now"...and that's been pretty accurate. Of course, there are some exes I can't or won't be friends with but I am also friends with some I never imagined I'd be!

Sheri