Well, looks like he's moved on...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2006
Well, looks like he's moved on...
14
Fri, 10-19-2007 - 4:06pm

...i'm guessing my ex is dating someone now as he put his myspace to private, which he's never done.

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Fri, 10-19-2007 - 4:24pm

Sending you a HUG devuchka,


It's not easy when they move on, even if you did the breaking up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2006
Fri, 10-19-2007 - 4:31pm

thanks, i need that hug.


i always send them to everyone else but i'll take that one for self. :)


of course, given the fact that he tends to want every woman he sees, i don't suspect any quality girl is going to put up with him for very long. but then, he prob doesn't want a quality girl. we tend

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2007
Fri, 10-19-2007 - 5:20pm

ugh, what a mess. i'm so sorry.


maybe the constant "supply" of new women keeps him from having to take responsiblity or truly move on.


this all

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2006
Sat, 10-20-2007 - 6:51am

HUGS Devuchka!


Im sorry to hear you had a bad day yesterday and Im sure today will be better....thats how I try to think anyway, that each day it gets better, but theres always going to be a bad one thrown in there.


I know these are only words, and I know it hurts so much right now, but HE WASNT worthy of your love.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2006
Sat, 10-20-2007 - 10:11am

thank you SO much lady for the message. i'm sitting here crying over the keyboard & wondering WTF is wrong with me that i can't get over this. you make me feel normal & i appreciate that.


yes it is the lying & looking at other women (insecurity) that killed things off. i just got outta control. it took me three months to break things off & i got a lot of support for that over at another message board where they were pretty hard on me, but still i got to talk things through.


i know that my cap will miss me. he still wanted to be friends. i know that he thought i was better than him in some ways (career etc) because he got v. jealous if i said i was going to be quoted in the WSJ or something. i also wanted him to know i was moving b/c i wanted him to know i do what i say i'm going to do

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2006
Sat, 10-20-2007 - 10:41am

:but I keep thinking if I let him know the same thing, it will somehow set me free from some of this:


actually, i wanted to respond to this.


the truth set me free. yeah, i'm sad, but lies really make a web that binds you in. breaking free of that web is huge.


me admitting to him that i knew he lied was very freeing.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2006
Sat, 10-20-2007 - 11:36am

Okay so are you saying that maybe Ill find some freedom in letting him know that I know about his lies?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2006
Sat, 10-20-2007 - 11:40am

hey lady,

i'm not particularly advocating that you contact him to tell him this. but i did it...

a month of NC is a great accomplishment...it might throw you back to contact him now. what about revisiting it in another month? there's always time.

gonna hop over to your other post & comment on it...

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Sat, 10-20-2007 - 11:57am

Bad idea to contact him now after you've gone a month not speaking to him, do you really want to throw the hard work and pain you've gone through away? Just an opinion based on seeing the results of it here on this board over and over again. Devuchka contacted after one week, and she fell back too. You'll fall back further and harder, though, since you've been on NC for longer.

My suggestion is don't fall for short-term gratification, hold out for the real healing which you wont' get by giving in to the anger.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2006
Sat, 10-20-2007 - 1:14pm

yeah, don't let me lead you astray! i'm 100% with sandra on this, especially if he was a cheater. i never contacted my cheater ex again.

she's right, it will set you back.

 

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