but what about me??
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but what about me??
| Tue, 04-17-2007 - 7:16pm |
I’m so used to feeling like s**t I feel like I got used to it! I feel like s**t all the time and cry and now I have learned to take it in. I wake up and I just stop, I stop my self from worrying about it and I feel like I am living for him, waiting for him to realize that we are one! I am living for him, cause if it was for me I don’t think I would not want to be here anymore!! I hate it all, the other guys, the feeling that you don’t belong any where, the idea that it is all gone!
Yesterday It was his birth day and I can’t believe I wasn’t there with him, I can’t believe that in 4 years, this birthday I didn’t get to be there and its is not fair, ok!! Cause I’m mad and I am tired!! I feel like I should ve taken him back after what he did to me, but I just couldn’t at that time, he left me and the way he did was bad, I just couldn’t bring my self to forgive him, I gave him way too many chances, I even tried to move on with a new relationship, but I can’t seem to forget him!!!! It has been over 6 months and I feel like it only hit me now, that there is no more me and him!! And I hate it, the idea that some other girl has him, why??
I feel like I have been in a shock this whole time and when I realized that I wanted him back it was too late, he realized that we are not meant to be. But what about me? What about me?
It was his birthday and I wasn’t there with him and I just can’t do this anymore, I am so tired!!! So yes thank you for reading this cause I feel like I need to let this out…cause what about me now? He has moved on and realized that we are not meant to be, but what about me?? When am I going to let go?
Yesterday It was his birth day and I can’t believe I wasn’t there with him, I can’t believe that in 4 years, this birthday I didn’t get to be there and its is not fair, ok!! Cause I’m mad and I am tired!! I feel like I should ve taken him back after what he did to me, but I just couldn’t at that time, he left me and the way he did was bad, I just couldn’t bring my self to forgive him, I gave him way too many chances, I even tried to move on with a new relationship, but I can’t seem to forget him!!!! It has been over 6 months and I feel like it only hit me now, that there is no more me and him!! And I hate it, the idea that some other girl has him, why??
I feel like I have been in a shock this whole time and when I realized that I wanted him back it was too late, he realized that we are not meant to be. But what about me? What about me?
It was his birthday and I wasn’t there with him and I just can’t do this anymore, I am so tired!!! So yes thank you for reading this cause I feel like I need to let this out…cause what about me now? He has moved on and realized that we are not meant to be, but what about me?? When am I going to let go?

Hi bondie,
Hey, I hear you. I'm sorry you're feeling so much pain. You know how you said you're used to feeling bad, you can also get used to feeling good. This IS a habit. Everything we do in life, with the exception of life-sustaining things like breathing, heartbeat, we do out of habit. We do the same things over and over until we get used to them, just like you've gotten used to feeling bad. You've taught yourself to feel bad. You can teach yourself and get used to feeling good, develop the new habit of feeling good. Don't doubt it, just do it.
I want very much to get across to you that you are a vital, wonderful person. I don't have to know you in order to know that. Being that wonderful vital person, why would you treat yourself with unkindness? It's so important that we be good to ourselves. You ARE worth creating a wonderful life for. It's not so much that others are unimportant as that you are SO important.
The important people in our lives deserve to be treated with respect, with kindness, with love, with decency, with understanding and with flexibility. YOU are important in your life, so why would you treat yourself any less than anyone else who is important to you? When you start treating yourself well, you will believe your life is special and precious and unique, and the happiness will come as a result. Don't doubt it, just do it.
Don't make the mistake of making your happiness depend on the actions of another person, they will surely let you down. You are the only person responsible for or capable of making you happy, when you believe that, what someone else does or does not do will not truly affect you. Don't doubt it, just do it.
Four years is quite a while to spend with one person. You're pushing yourself too hard, too fast, to try to get to the other side. Your journey will be longer than someone who only dated for a year or so. Give yourself a year to get over this. Seriously, put aside any thoughts of being truly over this for another six months. In the meantime, cry, laugh, treat yourself with kindness, with empathy. Look into seeking new friendships, new activities, even some short-term counseling maybe, it's no admission of weakness to say you need some help and guidance through the emotions and the pain.
I would suggest that if you don't have someone in your life that you can speak to, that you find a minister, priest, pastor, whomever, a trusted friend, even a compassionate co-worker.
You maybe noticed that throughout this response I didn't mention your ex until now. That's because in the grand scheme of your life and the happiness you create for yourself in it, he's really inconsequential.
How about that.
Best,
The worst part of it is that I have a guy that loves me, he lives 6hours away and he wants to move in with me in September and I have no idea how to tell him that my heart is aching and I am fake… I don’t know how to tell the truth that I finally realized that I miss my ex and I want him back! He knows about my past relationship and I have no clue what to do, I feel fake!
My ex he does not care about me, I guess he changed his mind, but what about me, come on its been over 6months since our break up and I feel like it is rock bottom now! I’m done fighting it, I just want to fall and stay there, I feel so lost like there is no way out, what about me, he moved on and sounds so happy as I cry to him on the phone, he knows I am in pain and nothing from him, I don’t even get an e-mail asking re u ok?
So what about me I want to ask him, what about us?