What am I suppose to do now?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2007
What am I suppose to do now?
1
Sun, 05-20-2007 - 9:36pm

I met a man fall of 05. He gave me his number, but I never called him. I guess I wasn't that interested. Fast forward to spring 06, I finally ended a on again, off again relationship that's been going on for 2 years. Then a friend tells me that some guy has been asking about me. I didn't recognize the name, and I've met several guys at the place he claims to have met me, so I didn't think much of it. Few weeks later, she tells me that the same guy is still asking about me. I just ignored it, b/c I really didn't want to meet anyone yet. So to make a long story short, I finally end up going on a blind date w/ this man, b/c he asked another one of our mutual friends about me. I really hated to go on this date, but it turned out to be the best mistake I've ever made. I didn't recognize him right away, and I won't say that I was attracted to him right away either. But before long, we couldn't stop talking. We talked about anything and everything. I had the best date ever! We both didn't want the date to end. The next day, I even cancelled another blind date, just so that I could make it to his BBQ. I had the best time ever. Everything looked like it was going great. We started to get serious, and 3 months later, we were hooked, or so I thought. One summer morning, I drove away from his driveway, waving good-bye, and telling each other, "See ya later!". Little did I know, that it would be the last time I saw him. I had no ideal what had happened. I had no closure from him, so I had to deal w/ it on my own. It was the hardest thing to do, but I did it.

Then the funniest thing happened about 6 weeks later. He contacts me and wants me to forgive him, and to talk to me again. I was shocked. So to make another long story short, I forgive him and decide to give him another chance. And I will tell you, that things got really good. I mean, I was really getting hooked on him. I have the biggest commitment phobia in this world, and I could see myself w/ him, forever.

Then it happened. Right before our 1st anniversary, we got into a huge fight. I actually got totally pissed at him b/c he chose to leave town w/o telling me in advance. He chose to tell me the night before. And while I was yelling at him, he started to laugh at me. I couldn't believe that this man, that I care for so much, is laughing at me while I'm crying. Few days later we had a long talk and we made up, then it happened. I noticed that he wasn't himself, but I tried to ignore it. Then we went out w/ friends, and started to drink. We got in the car and I was mad at him for not wanted to go home, and that's when he yelled, "I'm through w/ you!". I couldn't believe he had just said that to me. I was devastated. He had never shouted to me, the whole time we were together. I couldn't believe that this was the man who I cared so much for.

That night he apologized for his actions, and we went into this long discussion about where our relationship was headed. I thought things were good. He drove me home the next morning, and that was the end of our relationship. He didn't call, or write. He just left me hanging.

We didn't live together, but he was always at my house, or I was always at his house. For the past year, my life has revolved around him, and his around mine. Then one day, it all disappeared. He never gave me a reason. He just chose to look the other way. I can't believe that I loved a man, whom I did not know. What am I suppose to do now?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 05-23-2007 - 2:35pm

Welcome to the board circle8402,


I just found your post, sorry for the delay in replying.


Healing takes time.