What is a "break"?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2007
What is a "break"?
4
Sat, 11-03-2007 - 12:43pm

I am struggling with whether to end a relationship or work on issues. I love this guy, been together 3 years but he has a strange pattern of white lies and fibs that are taking a toll on my trust; more to the story but I wont bore you


I am curious if I should take a "break" but I have never done that and don't know what it leads to. I always thought it was kind of like a pre-breakup and ended up leading to a breakup.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sat, 11-03-2007 - 1:31pm

Welcome to this board youngandfree,


Here's your post from the other board so you don't have to retype the entire story:


do i leave?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2007
Sat, 11-03-2007 - 2:42pm

thank you for the link. I understand this is sometimes things that guys need...and I assume girls also


But really what is the point of it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sat, 11-03-2007 - 11:19pm

I think there are different reasons for taking a break.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Sun, 11-04-2007 - 1:12am

I have to admit I'm skeptical about using a break as leverage to get what you want in the relationship because a lot of the time, things don't pan out in that imaginary scenario you've got in your head.

I am of the opinion that breaks aren't to be taken lightly. Sometimes two people are too immature for each other at the moment, and a break will let them separate for a few weeks to get their heads in order. It's purpose is to allow you to both clear your head without the constant bombardment of the other person (again my opinion). But in general, I am of the belief that pretty much everything can be worked out in the context of a relationship. It's just whether or not you and him want to.

In any case, back to the breaks thing, you can honestly talk out the parameters all you like, the bottomline is that you really have no control over what he does once you call one. And chances good that he'll either be miserable or angry or both over this. You can scan the board for people who have been 'put on breaks', and find that the results are not pretty. And to answer your question, yes, a break is often a period when you assess whether or not you want to continue in this relationship or not. On the flip side, you might decide to work it out, only to find out that he's decided not to.

Just things to keep in mind. All the best

- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your