What to do 2
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What to do 2
| Thu, 10-26-2006 - 7:55pm |
I recently posted and got decent responses from all. Thank you to all. It has helped me tremendously. My wife for some reason is still living in the past and has alot of misconceptions I feel. She divorced her ex amost 3 years ago now after a 15 year marrige at the hands of a guy that was nothing short of a cheater, liar and a total loser. I as her current husband am still haunted by him and her baggage over him.
I in no way am thinking of leaving her she is a wonderful woman and a good wife. The real problem I see is she is so hung up over her ex, child support and her children she does not see how it has impacted me and our marriage. I think she just takes me as a given. That I will just be here.
I support her feelings contantly and I am a very good listener. The kids are another story altogether. They play both her and her ex to the hilt. Here I am stuck in the middle. They use me all the time . I am kind help them , then I get slammed. They also know most of her divorce decree and the money situation and always play her using it as a pawn. Then she feels guilty and gives into them. Totally wrong I I see it. They should know nothing about it. Period. That is between my wife and her ex. They get this info from their father.
I am also divorced and my children will never know any of the things these kids know. They should not. I also am home daily and work all the time around this house picking up after these kids, working on the house, lundry etc. And in 1 1/2 short years my wife has all around here that she wanted in 15 years of marriage to this loser. IE a driveway paved, a 2 stall garage with a great room above and the house being done over inside. I am disabled and do not do just sit around even though I am disabled and do nothing. UI work and work hard.
At this point I am about to throw up my hands and sit on my butt.
I in no way am thinking of leaving her she is a wonderful woman and a good wife. The real problem I see is she is so hung up over her ex, child support and her children she does not see how it has impacted me and our marriage. I think she just takes me as a given. That I will just be here.
I support her feelings contantly and I am a very good listener. The kids are another story altogether. They play both her and her ex to the hilt. Here I am stuck in the middle. They use me all the time . I am kind help them , then I get slammed. They also know most of her divorce decree and the money situation and always play her using it as a pawn. Then she feels guilty and gives into them. Totally wrong I I see it. They should know nothing about it. Period. That is between my wife and her ex. They get this info from their father.
I am also divorced and my children will never know any of the things these kids know. They should not. I also am home daily and work all the time around this house picking up after these kids, working on the house, lundry etc. And in 1 1/2 short years my wife has all around here that she wanted in 15 years of marriage to this loser. IE a driveway paved, a 2 stall garage with a great room above and the house being done over inside. I am disabled and do not do just sit around even though I am disabled and do nothing. UI work and work hard.
At this point I am about to throw up my hands and sit on my butt.

Well, IMHO, the problem is hour wife's and not yours. You're just an innocent bystander hit in the middle of the chaos. The time has come for you to speak up otherwise in a few more months you'll be ready to throw in the towel despite al the love you feel for your wife. A person can only endure so much. Tell her that you love her so much, but that you feel you're taken for granted.
I'd sit and talk to your wife and put all the cards on the table. Explain what the issues are and how they are affecting you, her and the kids. You cannot continue living like this. It's your wife's duty to put an end to the issues with her ex and the childfren. It seems that the children run the house hold and not the parents, due to her inability to separate her issues with her EX.
Perhaps, even couples counseling and conseling for her alone would be something worth looking into.