what to do with all of this free time?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
what to do with all of this free time?
3
Wed, 11-17-2004 - 10:54pm

so, i'm feeling a lot better about the breakup.
and i've felt this way for almost two and a half
weeks. so that's a good sign.

the only thing i'm having trouble with is all
the free time i have! i get SO bored, and i wonder
what the heck did i do BEFORE i met jon?

anyways, to make a long story short, my life
WAS jon for the longest time, jon and his friends,
and since i had just parted ways with everyone
in highschool, it was so easy for jon to just
become my life.

so, now, i have no friends since the breakup,
and no one to really talk to. how do i make
new friends? i'm trying to make friends at
work, but it's going pretty slowly, and it's
really hard to make friends at my school because
of the environment at that school.

does anybody have good advice on where to meet
people? i can't go to bars/clubs or whatever,
because i'm not "of age."

anyways, i know i post a lot, but thanks for
all of you who reply! iVillage has DEFINITELY
been a help in the "recovery" process <3

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2004
Thu, 11-18-2004 - 12:07am
Hi! I went through the same thing but I had a couple of friends who helped me out. If you even have one or two people you can count on, that will help a lot. My friends knew what I was going through and I could talk honestly and tell that I just need to keep busy to try to forget him. They invited me out to dinner or to a movie so I could make new memories with my friends instead of the old ones with him. Also, I joined Curves about that time so I worked out at least three times a week...that was a godsend! I could take out my frustrations on the machines and it helped me get healthier. The hardest part was when I was in a sad mood, I just wanted to stay home and cry. But I didn't...well, sometimes I did! But most of the time I just went out and did something...even shopping. I love to shop so that wasn't too bad! Just keep your focus on the fact that you have to keep busy and it's ok to do busy things...cuz you are helping yourself forget about him!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2004
Thu, 11-18-2004 - 12:35am
Glad you're reaching the point where the worst of the pain is over...feels good doesn't it? I also am struggling with "what do I do now?" There is a huge void in my life and I feel like a zombie just mindlessly going through the motions of living. I have a lot of success with books and movies and taking online classes (many are free or cheap online). Lately though, I'm teaching myself trumpet, which I love. I was going to be a musician but got married young, blah blah blah. Now I have time to pursue it again. Now, trumpet may mean nothing to you but I'm sure there's some skill or hobby you've wanted to try. There are probably many interests you had put on the back burner to concentrate on your relationship. Well, pull them out again...you'll be happy you did. It's nice to find new friends of course, but it's important to build skills for enjoying your own company and interests completely dependent from others. Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
Thu, 11-18-2004 - 7:59pm

thanks for the input guys, it was really helpful!

i'm just definitely not used to having anyone.
i DO have a best friend, but she moved to
germany...suckfest. and all of my other good
friends are off to different colleges, and we
RARELY see eachother. blah

anyways, i'll get through this! thanks for
all of your support <3333