What to do with his things?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2005
What to do with his things?
4
Thu, 12-22-2005 - 2:57pm

Ok,

I am having a bad day today. This board has become a lifeline for me. I come here and reread posts and they give me strength. So I figure I would ask you all about the latest reason for my depression.

If some of you remember, my mom packed away all his and our things in a box. A lot of those are pretty expensive - these venetian masks we bought on our europe trip, paintings, etc. and others are just purely emotionaly valuable gifts he gave me that I absolutely loved.

Last time him and I talked, on Saturday, he told me that he doesn't want me to get rid of our things, particularly the 1000 pictures or so of us in Paris, Italy, ... and also the necklace I bought him that he loved to death. He wants those things. So we decided to meet in January when he will be in town so I can give him these things.

I am dying to see him again. He says that he still loves me and wants that hug he asked for X-mas (that's the only gift he asked of me) - {I am crying now by the way}. So I am so lost after reading all about the NC rule from you gals.

I don't want to look at those things of his - they are too painful reminders of such wonderful times together. I no longer know what to do. Help!

Ash

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 12-22-2005 - 5:18pm

I'm sorry you're having a tough day.

This is what I would suggest: that you do nothing for the time being. Leave the things in the boxes for now. In time, when you're ready, you can go through them and *mail* his things to him. It's not like he needs to have them NOW, is it?

At some point the things will not hold as much emotion and pain as they do now...I am glad I held on to mementos and gifts from past relationships because now they just remind me of the good times we had together and do not bear any pain. But it takes time to get to that point.

And if you do decide to see him in January, that's a valid choice. But you then need to take responsibility for choosing an action that will set you back and/or keep you stuck. That's fine, if that's what you choose. Just be aware of the consequences in making your decision.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2005
Thu, 12-22-2005 - 9:36pm
What I did with his things? I gave them to the mutual friend (see my other post I started named that). Now I don't talk to this "mutual friend" and I have no chance of getting the stuff back because he hates me. Or is bitter. Either way, I won't get it back. Maybe give it to a really good friend who sees this breakup as a good thing and wants you to move on.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2005
Sat, 12-24-2005 - 9:58am

Ash,


Sorry to hear you were having bad day.

Nikki
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2005
Sun, 12-25-2005 - 2:10pm
Yup Yup...Followed all your advice - his stuff is sitting in the garage and I asked my friend to take it over to him when he comes if I decide not to see him - which is the way I am headed now. Feeling slightly less panicked about moving on. It just means that my big expensive trek across europe will always be coloured by memories of us and I just packed away all the souvenirs. :(