What do I do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2007
What do I do?
2
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 3:33pm

I'm not sure if I'm at the right place but it seems a good place to be. It's not me but my brother who is breaking up with someone. To start with here's some background information.

My parents are divorced and remarried to other people I have always gotten alone with my mum but seen as the black sheep with my father. I have 4 other siblings 1 of which was from my father's second marriage, I'm the oldest out of all of them. I got married in January this year and my father his wife my siblings their partners/husband and children did not come.

Here's my problem .............

The oldest brother has been in a relationship for the past 6 years with a wonderful woman he and I have really never seen eye to eye but have gotten along...... Just! He's now decided that he didn't want to "play" anymore and they are now splitting up. He and his soon to be x-girlfriend have a daughter together who's 3 and she's expecting their second child in June.

She's devastated by it all and my mum only found out when she came up and told her at work. In my eyes my brother is well to put it nicely an idiot, he's not only broken her heart but split a family unit as well. It's hurt me alot that he could do that to her, and it's not like their 16 she's 28 and my brother's 34. We have never been really close but she was someone one of my sisters went to high school with.

I would love to keep in contact with her and tell her that I'm here if she wants to talk or just a shoulder to lean on. How do you think I go about telling her that?

Mandi

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2008
In reply to: mandi_mum
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 6:49pm

Hi Mandi,


Not sure how much help I can be.


One thing you need to understand that if your brothers ex does not want to keep in touch with


you it will be because it is too painful for her.I was trying to keep in touch with my ex's mother and it was just too hard right now.It is too painful.She was a constant reminder of what I had lost.This may be a problem the exgirlfriend will have.I have learned the hard way that having contact with the ex's family and friends just brought me more pain.Maybe you could let her know when she is ready you will be there.


Just don't be surprised if it takes a while or if she tries and then has to distance herself.


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: mandi_mum
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 7:51pm

Welcome to the board mandi_mum,


I don't think there is anything wrong in extending the invitation to her.