What do I do with the stuff he left??
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| Wed, 02-27-2008 - 8:35pm |
I thought about posting this after I saw the post about getting stuff back from an exboyfriend.
My ex left about 2 months ago and we lived together for about 3 years so he had alot of stuff. He just swept over the whole house and took ALMOST everything of his that would fit in his truck. He left his bike, a tool cabinet/workbench thing and some expensive tools. The thing is he moved back to our hometown which is 2 hours away. It wasn't an amicable breakup so we are not on speaking terms, infact he hasnt tried to contact me since he left. So what do I do about this stuff? Eventhough he broke up with me and took off I'd feel bad giving away or selling his stuff that is worth a good amount of money. I figured I'd wait about six months or so and email his mother to let her know that if he wants that stuff she or he will have to drive the 2 hours to get it. And if she says he doesnt want it, then just give it away or sell it. And if he does want it, I figure I'll just wait till a weekend that I won't be home and tell her to get it then. I don't want to face him because I really miss him and would be heartbroken to see him. But I'm thinking that if I give it some more months, maybe I'll be able to face him if he does want his stuff.
Also, I keep getting his mail. This is so depressing! I hate having to sort through all my mail to find his stuff. I worked really hard to try to get any reminder of him out of my house. Is it possible to do a change of address just for him?? I don't want my mail to end up going to his mom's house. The last paycheck from the place he worked at here was mailed to the house. I thought it was VERY nice of me to mail it to him even after he acted like a jerk and wouldn't talk to me after the break-up. Now I have to mail him his W2 form so he can do his taxes. He nor his mom has contacted me asking for it, but I figure I'll be the good person and just mail it to him.
Uggghh... this is frustrating.

Hey, I would just box up everything he left -- as well as any mail -- and send a letter to his mother's house. Tell him he must come pick up his things, or you will sell them or throw them away (and keep the proceeds). I'd give a strict deadline -- two weeks, or he's out of luck. Tell him he has to make an appointment, and then designate a friend to be there. I wouldn't even be at home!
I know just how you feel!
Everyone told me that I should make my ex come get his stuff.
I'm so sorry webgirl03 that you have to go through that. like its not bad enough dealing with a breakup, but to have to worry about that stuff to just makes it harder. I wonder why he hasnt picked up his stuff at the post office?
Well I know by now that he had to have received the mail of his that I sent to him. It really upsets me that he cant just send me an email or text message or something telling me thank you. I think that it was very grown up of me to send him his important tax forms that he needs. You would think that a simple "thank you" would be in good form. Ughhh!
As for his bike and tools, I dont know what to do with them. I guess I'll just keep them in my garage for a few months. Maybe he'll feel like he can see/talk to me by then. Although, I dont know why I'm caring so much about his feelings? He's the one that broke up with me after living with each other for 3 years. And I havent heard from him since.
On a half serious and half humorous side note, a good friend of mine that went through a similar break up, did the usual 2 weeks notice. Then she moved all of his stuff into a nearby storage facility and had the bill delivered to his house. Then it was no longer her problem or her business.
as for the mail, a change of address requires a monthly maintenance fee. I can't offer you more help than that, but perhaps the bill can also be forwraded to his mom's address.
But seriously seriously, I'd go with the 2week notice. You're giving him leeway to pick up his stuff, but you're also not his mom or his storage unit. He needs to start acting like an adult.
And take heart. I know it seems like it sucks and stinks that after this guy crushed your heart, you're still acting with grace and dignity. I know that after my cheat and scram of a break up, everyone urged me to take his stuff and donate it to the nearest bonfire. But I assure you that you'll look back on your refusal to trash his stuff and be proud of your actions. Plus when you're nice, it makes him feel even more like a heel.
cheers,
- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your past - there's a reason they didn't make it into your future.
j3une - if he broke up with you and he left stuff at your house and isnt asking for it. then just keep it, especially if you need it.
unicornsong- you're right about the being nice thing. hopefully when he receives his mail that i sent him he'll think "she's still being kind to me... i'm such an a$$hole". haha, yeah right. but a girl can dream, right? :)
and you're right! its high time he acted like an adult and take some responsibility. he is 27 years old! you'd think that i wouldnt have to communicate to him through his mom. he is immature and i'm better off without him!