What do I really want???
Find a Conversation
What do I really want???
| Thu, 07-13-2006 - 7:45pm |
I found myself jumping between "newly heartbroken" and "healing and moving on". I am just like a lot of you here - experiencing the emotional ups and downs. So now finally, he doesn't call me once a week anymore, it finally did go away. It hurts. I know I told him we are over etc. But I stil want to talk to him. This is so strange. I don't know what I want anymore. On the one hand, I know me and him are never going to be together, on the other hand, I still want to see him and miss him like crazy, and get so mad at him for not even trying to get back or impress me.
I am not looking forward to the weekend at all. Days are so long.

I so remember where you are. I'd leave the house and find myself looking for cars that looked like his. I'd watch TV and resemble him to actors. Even though I knew he hadn't been good to me and I was better off without him, a part of me had grown attached to him, but I know it was more about the attention he gave me and the comforting feeling of "having someone." It was SO painful so just to get over the initial shock of no longer having him in my life, my therapist recommended that I change my scenery so I wouldn't be reminded of him. No kidding. Since we'd spent a considerable amount of time at my home, she suggested I rearrange the furniture or otherwise make rooms look different so I wouldn't associate him with my living quarters. She also recommended that I take a break and get out of town. I know this isn't feasible for many people, but I was fortunate enough to be able to leave town for a few days, so I did. That was such a great idea. I still thought about him and had many moments of pining, but at least they were interspersed with lots of laughter and good times with my friends and family. It was a lot better than moping around alone for hours on end.
I don't know what your exact situation is, but if it's possible to change little things in your life/routine so thoughts of him don't dominate your days, do so. Getting over a breakup is painful no matter what, but there are ways to accelerate the process or at least make it more bearable.