What to do when blindsided by a break up + cheating?
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|Wed, 12-29-2010 - 12:45am|
I've been grappling with a sudden, horrible breakup and thought this message board may give me some perspective I haven't yet had. Long story sort of short: My boyfriend of a year and a half broke up with me about a month ago with no warning. I go over to his place for dinner after work, he cooks, we sit down on the couch, he asks me if I'm happy, he breaks up with me saying he's not happy. He has no interest in trying to work things out.
This is all very bizarre and unexpected for several reasons. He'd planned a surprise party for my birthday that was two weeks after the break up, and he had contacted some of the invitees the day he broke up with me, saying he'd see them later in the week for dinner. (He told me about the surprise party while breaking up with me). And two days before that he went to the trouble of getting his rental agency to change his lease so we could move in together in a few months.
Needless to say, I was devastated. That was all bad enough, but I was dealing with it OK until a week later when I found out that he started dating his co-worker a few days after breaking up with me, meaning he was likely cheating on me (which he denies). And now they're officially a couple. Since then I wake up in the middle of the night every night freaking out about how he's with her and not me. Last week I was diagnosed with a hormone imbalance that explains why I was moody and had low sex drive for the last couple of months while I trained for a marathon that we ran together. It's like one terrible piece of news after another. I don't know how I'm going to get over this sudden break up, and I'm also afraid that I'm going to run into them everywhere since we live in the same neighborhood. Any advice out there on this one? I just want to stop feeling like this was all my fault and I could have done something differently to avoid this outcome.