What do you think it means?
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| Thu, 12-28-2006 - 10:20am |
Hi Ladies,
I have a question for you. I asked my ex if he was taking another girl (a specific girl which I have suspicions about) to his brother's wedding which is now 9 days away, and his response was "I don't think so." What does this mean? I said to him, "What do you mean you don't think so?" He said "I'm not taking anyone,I'm going by myself." If anyone has read my posts, you know we have been on again off again for 3 years with another break up just 3 days ago. He also proposed in September, but we called it off in October.
I woke up feeling sick to my stomach that he might actually have been planning to go with this girl the whole time. He has never asked me to go to the wedding, even when we were engaged! What do you all think? I would just die if he took someone else. I can't take it.

I know that sick feeling of thinking of him with someone else since the reason I cut it off with my ex was because he was going out on dates with someone else. For a while, I couldn't take it and all I could picture was him with someone else, wondering what she looked like, wondering her name, etc.
Will you ultimately find out if he took someone else? He said he was going alone so if he does take someone else, just further confirmation of completely distancing yourself from him. Do you think you could stop communicating with him? I know when I was still communicating with my ex, I couldn't help myself from asking questions about 'her' which he would never answer. When I asked if they spent Thanksgiving together, he just chuckled which to me was confirmation and broke my heart. I decided at that point, I need to know nothing more about him and what he was doing. That has helped me move on.
Unfortunately, the situation is out of your control and it is very hard to not have control. By cutting off communication, you will start to gain control of the situation and start to feel better. In time you will not care what he is doing or who he is seeing.
9 more days until you go home right? Stay strong. The distance will help.
I know you are right. I have had these same thoughts but cannot control my actions.
I just got off the phone with him...again!! I am a pathetic, weak idiot!! He is back to saying that he loves me and wants to be with me. He asked if I wanted to spend this weekend together. I said, "What happens after that?" I asked him again what he meant by saying "I don't think so" about the wedding. He continues to say that he never would take her and that he didn't mean anything by it. He also said of course he wants me to go with him. He says his parents are concerned that we may fight at the wedding and that's why he's nervous about us going together. My thought is, if they feel that way about his and my relationship, than this relationship is more messed up than I thought!
I am trying so hard to distance myself. He called me and text me all day yesterday after we got off the phone in the morning. I ignored him all day and night...I was so proud of myself. I guess it's particularly hard because I am only 2 hours away from him and I thought things would be so different when I came back to visit. I know things will get easier once I go back home, but until then, I don't think I have the strength to cut ties with him. I haven't seen any old friends and have been alienating family because I don't want them to see me like this. The thought of sitting home and crying for the next 9 days is unbearable.
He ended the conversation by saying if his car is fixed today or tomorrow, that he will come pick me up and we will spend the weekend and New Year's together. I want to so bad, but part of me knows this is a horrible idea. I am praying for the strength to tell him no, but honestly, I don't think I have it in me. My concern is that once I get back home, I will regret not spending time with him while I was home. I don't know when I will make it back for another visit.
It has been 31 days for you with NC? How are you feeling? Do you still wake up with that sick, sick feeling? Do you still have problems with going out and being social? At this point in my life, I don't want to do anything or go anywhere. Some of my best friends live back here and I haven't visited them because I don't want them to see me like this and I don't feel social at all. I am going to regret my actions, I just know it.
So what happens if you spend the weekend together and do end up fighting and end it, yet again. Now you are right back where you are, if not in a worse place. If his patterns hold true, he will resort right back to where he was before. Not to mention the fact that his parents are concerned you guys will have a fight at the wedding??? Take that as a sure sign....
I do not have the sick feeling anymore. It's funny, I picked his sorry drunken butt up just a few weeks ago and had to pull over so he could get sick. In the beginning after the split, everytime I drove past there I would get the sick feeling (and I drive past at least twice a day). Now it just makes me angry for him being so selfish and not seeing everything I did for him. I was always the one who contacted him so I am sure he is beside himself wondering why I have not been in touch. In our past two breakups, I made the initial contact. He is thick headed and stubborn and he will not reach out to me. So now I feel I have the upper hand and I bet he is ticked off that I have moved on.
I have gotten through the past 31 days by forcing myself to be with friends and family and going out as much as possible. When I am with them, it is time I can spend not thinking about him every second. It has not been easy at times but I know it has helped. I am going to NY today to spend time with my friends and family rather than sit at home and hope that he and I could get together - which is what I would have normally done in the relationship.
Can you make alternate plans with your friends or family for the weekend? Do you really want to continue to go through this? I don't want to sound harsh but I know exactly what you are going through and how hard this is but I think the best thing is to let him go.
Here we go again. Last night I think we had our last moment of contact. We got into a huge argument (again!) on the phone. He said his car was going to be fixed last night, and I asked him if he was going to come and pick me up (per our earlier conversation, he wanted to spend the weekend together). When I asked him this, he laughed/chuckled. That was his response. This is something he does quite often as a response and it hurts me and angers me at the same time. He does it in an arrogant fashion too. Does anyone know what I mean?
He is only 2 hours away from me, and considering I am visiting from another state for the holidays, you would think my bf of 3 years would do anything to be with me while I am home for this short time. He is so selfish! I drove 18 hours to get here, but Christmas day I drove another 2 hours to see him (at midnight nonetheless!!!) I guess I am just shocked and completely devastated! How can anyone be so selfish. I can hear the arrogance with every word he speaks. Maybe I am to blame. After all, I have allowed him to walk all over me and control my life for 3 years.
So, in our final conversation last night, I told him I would never forgive him for the cruel way he has treated me and that I did not even want to be friends. He has always stressed how I am his best friend and I usually say that no matter what, I want to be friends. BUT, how can you be friends with someone who continuously breaks your heart and plays with your mind. My vacation has been completely ruined by his actions, and he knows how bad I needed this vacation. It was my oasis when things at work were getting unbearable. I can't bear the thought of going through this break up while returning to work next week. I have contemplated leaving my job, because I don't think I can handle a break up and successfully perform at work. He is completely ruining my life. I told him I would never call him again and he said okay and goodbye. That was it. So I guess this is day one of NC. My best friend and I have placed bets as to when I will hear from him. She thinks New Years eve, I think she's probably right.
I feel so pathetic when I read what I have just typed. Does anyone else feel that way? It's like seeing things on "paper" almost put things into perspective and you start to feel like a huge fool for putting up with so much.
I could really use the support today. And this is only day one of NC?? This sucks in a major way.
and I know that sick feeling in your stomach that your talking about about...the rush of morning anxiety...ugh I know it all to well. I'm sorry your going through this.
Help!!!
If you have read my previous posts, you know the situation. I am going to lose it! I wasn't planning on contacting him at all since we broke up last night BUT, I remember him saying something about myspace the other day, so on a whim, I looked to see if he had a site. Now remember, we have been together 3 years and were engaged in just September and broke of the engagement a couple months ago.
He has a myspace and it says he is single!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There are also posts from some girl in a different state saying she misses him and can't wait to see him!! Granted, she is truly unattractive and has a child, so I know he would never go for her. But, it's the point! I am so unbelievably hurt. I broke down and called him, because I was just in too much pain from seeing it and wanted an explanation. He said he knew her a long time ago and that he doesn't know why she keeps posting stuff. He said his friend created the site for him, so he had nothing to do with the content (stuff about him being single. He also said that he understands why I would be upset, cuz he would be if it were me and that he would take it down or change it. I said what's the point? He has been keeping this stuff a secret and making himself available on myspace and we were supposedly getting married at some point????
I started questioning him more about the nasty girl on his site and told him I sent her a message to ask her why she's sending that stuff when I was dating him and supposed to marry him. He got mad at me and hung up on me. Nothing from him since.
I am going insane. I feel like the past three years are all a big lie. I feel like I wasted my life sitting around crying about him. I don't know how to get over this. I need serious help. I feel like my options are running out.
well i guess if ever be ready for it...LOOK PRETTY THAT DAY. and pretend that you dont care about it and relax....if he ever did that just think she is a BIG TIME REBOUND GIRL...LOL
GOOD LUCK