what does he want?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2004
what does he want?
1
Thu, 04-13-2006 - 9:02am
Hi again.
I am feeling very sad and disillusioned. My boyfriend broke up with me for sure Monday night & yet I think both of us may be in denial. He sent a few "joke" e-mails yesterday. Called yesterday afternoon & then again last night to say goodnight. He has sent a joke e-mail again this morning. I do not want no contact with him - that would make things much worse for me. There is no mention to make plans to see each other and we live about a 45 minute drive away from each other so there are no chances of us running into each other.
I know he needs time & is feeling lost right now - but does him calling & e-mailing as if nothing is wrong mean he dosn't want to break up either?
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-13-2006 - 10:54am

No, not necessarily. A lot of guys seem to engage in that "have their cake and eat it too" behavior, but when you call them on it, they are quick to say, "oh no, I don't want to get back together, I just miss talking to you" or something like that.

But even if it does mean he doesn't want to break up, doesn't that put you right back in the same position you were a few days ago, with nothing resolved?

In any event...if you are determined to maintain contact with him, do it with your eyes open--you won't be able to start moving on until you decide to stop having contact. At some point you may decide that this painful limbo isn't for you but everyone needs to get to that point in their own time.