What does this mean?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
What does this mean?
1
Mon, 10-30-2006 - 2:05pm
I hate this. I've been trying to move on from my breakup 6 months ago. We went out for 5 years, lived together for the last 3. He has emailed me a few times to say "hi" and each time I told him nicely that I can't be in contact because it prevents me from moving on. I still think about him every day, but I have tried doing the only thing I can - moving on. I try to keep busy, I've joined new clubs and met new people, I've gone on a few dates, etc.. Truth be told, every day when I get to work I still look to see if he emailed me (can't help it, it's a habit when you were emailing back and forth all day long for the last 5 years). Well he emailed me today. The last email he sent me was 4 months ago. He said he didn't want to bother me, he just wanted to say hi and that he thinks about me a lot. This is why no contact is so important...because reading that upset me all over again. Why did he email me that? I wish I knew. A while ago, I would have written back and told him if he didn't want to try and work the relationship out, then please don't contact me, but now I think it's too late. Does anyone have any insight for me? Thanks for listening.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-30-2006 - 2:28pm

He probably feels like it's been long enough--as the person who broke up, he's more over it and ready to be friends, so he doesn't get that you aren't at that point yet (and how could you be, only 6 months into the breakup of a five year relationship?).

This is one reason I feel it's SO important to not only ask for no contact but to also block one's ex from emailing you. If you'd blocked him before this happened, you not only wouldn't have to deal with this, you'd be freed from that habit checking your email every day because you know he's blocked.

So, I'd suggest that you take this opportunity to block him without responding. I let an ex continue to contact me for several years before I finally blocked him and I really regret that I let it go on so long. Blocking him was a big step in my healing and took a huge weight off of me.

Sheri