What does this mean....
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What does this mean....
| Fri, 04-07-2006 - 3:47pm |
I am NOT going to call my ex. It's been a week since we've broken up (he broke up w/me) and I haven't called or sent a text once. I wish I knew if he was missing me. This weekend, however, will be difficult because it will be the first w/e in three months w/o him. BUT, I will get through it.
What I want to know is....because he hasn't called me to say sorry (I was crying so badly when he was telling me that he didn't want to see me anymore), to say he misses me, or just to see how I am doing (he called me everyday for months), does that really reflect as to the type of person that *I* truly am?? I keep trying to convince myself that his abrupt behavior had nothing to do with me, personally.
Edited 4/7/2006 4:58 pm ET by labmrscab

Sweetie, can you REALLY not see how completely about HIM and what type of person HE is his behavior is? It's clear as day to me...I wish there was something I could say that could make you see that.
His actions or lack thereof have little or nothing to do with you...they are all about him.
That is not to say that his actions are bad, necessarily...he may think that he has said everything he has to say and that any additional contact would be overkill and/or hurtful to you. But his reasons are HIS OWN...they really don't have much if anything to do with YOU.
People do things because they WANT to, because that's how they are. You have little or nothing to do with that.
Maybe this example will help: my ex stopped talking to me, just completely disappeared, after a 1.5 year relationship (long-distance). Our last conversation was a positive one, I thought...but he just disappeared without a word and wouldn't respond to my calls or emails. Four months later, he sends me an email saying he did it because I hurt him, although he also apologized for his behavior and said that my hurting him didn't justify the hurt he caused me by disappearing. Now, I could have taken that personally and thought that it was "my fault" that he disappeared...but it wasn't. Even if I did say something hurtful (which I don't think I did...and he wouldn't tell me exactly what I supposedly said), it was HIS choice to not say something to me, HIS choice to not talk about it, HIS choice to disappear. I had no control over what he chose to do...that behavior was all about HIM.
Sheri
::What I want to know is....because he hasn't called me to say sorry (I was crying so badly when he was telling me that he didn't want to see me anymore), to say he misses me, or just to see how I am doing (he called me everyday for months), does that really reflect as to the type of person that *I* truly am?? I keep trying to convince myself that his abrupt behavior had nothing to do with me, personally.
This might be hard to hear but here goes - if he called it would make you feel ok or even elated for a short period of time, then my guess would be that you would wonder why he called, what he wanted, what did it mean, does he care - in other words, it would feed you false hope that he might care more, or care even though he broke up with you. If he called to check on you, your grieving process will drag on.
It's not about you personally. Meaning it's not who you are or who you aren't. You are NOT less than because of his actions, choices, behavior or decisions.
Stay focused on you and your healing. Sorry you have to go through this, it will get easier.
Carrie