what is going through his mind!!
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what is going through his mind!!
| Wed, 03-08-2006 - 1:48pm |
My boyfriend and I have been dating now for over a year, things have been great until recently, he got a new job and is busier then ever we rarely get to see eachother. I have been having this gut feeling, and decided to ask him if anything was up. He said that hes really busy and at this point in time he doesnt really want to be in a relationship, but he said he is in love with me, thinks im an amazing person and is happy with me and our relationship. Confusing or what! i dont no what to think because his answer was so contradicting, any help would be greatly appricated.
Thank you!
Thank you!

hi gal friend
i think your not alone your story its kinda same thing with me!!! well actually my bf now. before he move to his new job everything was doing fine were happy but as soon as he start working on the new job...he start acting grumpy...well i'm just a human with a "soft heart" ofcourse i will feel angry and i start thinking something else..right!!!
BUT ACTUALLY NOW I DO UNDERSTAND HIM COZ EVEN HIMSELF DOESNT EVEN HAVE TIME FOR HIM...HE EVEN SKIP LUNCH ALMOST EVERYDAY COZ OF HIS BUSY SCHEDULE AT WORK...WHAT I TOLD MY SELF IF I REALLY WANT TO BE WITH HIM I HAVE TO PUT MORE PATIENCE. LIKE THEY SAY "TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT"....
BUT ACTUALLY IF MY BF AND I TOGETHER HE SHOW ME THAT HE REALLY CARE AND THAT EXPLAIN THAT HE LOVES ME...ON YOUR SITUATION YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND ALSO THAT HIS BUSY WORKING...ATLEAST HIS BUSY WORKING RIGHT NOT BUSY DOING SOMETHING ELSE...WHAT DO YOU THINK IS MUCH BETTER?
You say you have a gut feeling and sometimes you have to go with that. But it is possible he's busy and can't focus on your relationship and this new job at the same time. (They say men aren't good multi-taskers!) It could be things have progressed to a time when he feels like he needs to make some decisions about his future and he's backing away to really give it some clear thought. I would back off and give him the time and space he needs. Maybe spend some time doing some things you want to do for a while. It's that whole "If you love someone set them free and if they don't come back to you they were never yours in the first place" line of thinking. Sometimes you have to let them go for a little while so that when you get them back, you know it was what they REALLY wanted. I really think that if you push too hard right now, your chances of losing him are greater than if you just let him know you're there but leaving him alone to think. I've known people who just drifted into marriage because it was easier than breaking someone's heart. Most of them are either divorced, cheating, or miserable right now. I don't know about anyone else, but I certainly wouldn't want marriage on those terms, even as much as it hurts to get your heart broken. When I do get married (again) it had better be to someone who knows without a doubt that I'm the one. And if he does have doubts at any point, I'd want him to fully explore them and get rid of them before we continued.
Steph