What is going on in the world??!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
What is going on in the world??!!
5
Tue, 05-16-2006 - 11:34am
OK, is it just me or is there absolutely no point in getting involved anymore? I'm going through a breakup with someone I was with for almost 5 years, and living with them for the last 3. So you can guess my state of mind these days. I was just talking to a co-worker whose wife is expecting a baby. He told me that he wants her to get a DNA test to make sure it is his. I was like huh? I mean this is a couple that's been married for 6 years and by all accounts appear like any normal couple. He said he knows at least 2 other guys who are raising other guy's babies, and everyone else knows it but them. Hearing stuff like this makes me just want to throw in the towel and not even bother trying to find someone normal to be with. Does anyone else feel like that?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2006
Tue, 05-16-2006 - 1:08pm

I would guess that usually it is because of insecurity. It might have been a past experience which envokes this type of thinking and behaviour. However, nothing lasts forever, all the love in the world will one day expire and what happens from then on will be up to the person to decide.

Although they seem as normal as can be, no one knows about their personal life. Maybe there had been infidelity in the past. I just know that there is no hurt, if you have nothing to hide, then hide nothing.

The wife might get angry because of the trust issue he has with her, but wouldn't it be better to nip the butt of this trust problem early on and showing that he is worrying about nothing? If he doesn't it will eat him up inside and the trust will never be there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2006
Tue, 05-16-2006 - 1:19pm

hi abcd2girl

absolutely...i feel you girl! anyways reading all post here also makes me wander why life its soo unfair..why can we live normal and be happy. well i guess life is too complicated. we cannot have everything that we want. god make life too complicated coz maybe i'm assuming that he doesnt want us to forget calling his name all the time..right? coz think about it..if all the people could have all the things they want they will forget about him. isnt?

life must go on no matter what!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2004
Tue, 05-16-2006 - 1:59pm

Hey, keep your chin up!

I know breakups suck, and it can be really frustrating/disappointing to hear about all of the people in the world who are having relationship problems, etc. Once in awhile I'll feel really jaded and think to myself, "What's the point in getting involved with someone if it's just going to end in heartbreak?" I personally don't know many people who are in healthy, happy relationships. And with divorce rates being what they are...

In fact, I'm only 21 and sometimes have the urge to throw in the towel when it comes to dating/relationships! I'm not even thinking about getting married because it just doesn't seem likely to happen for me anytime soon (which is good, since that's not what I'm looking for just yet!). But even the thought of putting myself out there seems like a bad idea sometimes...after experiencing such heartbreak in my last serious relationship, it makes sense that I'm afraid to try again.

But it's important not to lose your faith/hope. Everything in life is uncertain to some extent...not just relationships. And yes, you may become discouraged when your relationship with the person who's the supposed "love of your life" ends, or when you hear about all the other people who have failed relationships themselves...and yes, you may be scared to start over with someone new. But at the end of the day, you just have to learn to pick yourself up off the ground and live your life. This doesn't mean you shouldn't take care of yourself and try to protect yourself from future harm. But you can't just give up and stop believing in love...because it DOES exist, and it is worth it.

Whenever I'm feeling jaded about love, I just remind myself of how great my life is even without a significant other, and how wonderful my friends and family are. I DO have love in my life, in other forms. And although I'm scared, I am excited to find love in an intimate relationship again someday. I'm open to the idea of it, even after getting so hurt before. I have a fulfilling life on my own...I don't *need* a boyfriend/husband, etc. But I know it'd be nice to have someone I love to share my life with...and I'm not giving up on the idea of finding that somebody. Yes, there are so many people who have been hurt in their relationships, and so many people who end up divorced and unhappy...hey, there are even people who are in relationships/married AND still unhappy. But you have to remember the lucky ones...the ones who fall in love, are happy together, and are making it through despite the world today. You should never lose hope!

"Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for."

"Don't ever be so afraid of heartache that you forget to love."

"Things don't go wrong and break your heart so that you can become bitter and give up. They happen to break you down & build you up, so that you can be all that you were intended to be."

"Watching you walk out doesn't make me bitter about love; it makes me realize that if I wanted to be with the wrong person so much, how beautiful it will be when the right one comes"

"Love comes to those who still hope, even though they've been disappointed, to those who still love even though they've been hurt before."

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2006
Tue, 05-16-2006 - 2:59pm
YES! Seems like you put a lot of work, effort, understanding, and love and then in the end you are supposed to act like strangers and try to do it all again with someone new! Same cycle...can't say that I see many 'normal' couples around anymore though...its usually every person out for themselves, for whatever 'need' they have at the moment...
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2004
Wed, 05-17-2006 - 12:46am
Gosh yes, I'm 21 and already wish I could meet the right guy or prepare for life as a single woman forever. Sometimes it just seems like too much effort looking for the right guy.