What is he thinking?
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| Mon, 02-05-2007 - 7:40pm |
Hi..... this is going to be LONG!! sorry
About a month ago my boyfriend and I broke up. I was the one who asked for the break first on the 1st of Jan, that i was confused about my feelings but i wanted to work things out. on the 5th we meet up and we are tryin to talk about things until he tells me has to go to play xbox with his mate.... naturally i was really upset because we are having major issues but he'd rather go play xbox ??? then his like do u want me to cancel is that what you want? and i said to him well i mean u should know what to do. ur mate will understand. i tell him oh i now know whats important to you, ur damn xbox and he gets angry and he ends up leaving to play xbox with his friend. (proved me right?)
on the 7th we meet up again...we say we r going to work things out, he tells me he loves me and wants to make me happy then he tells me has to go to his mates house to fix somethin. n i told him we can't keep shiftin this to the next day. lets stay tonight fix things and then u can go to ur mates house. i told him to cancel just to see if he would do it... and he ends up doing it but before i couild tell him to just go coz i felt bad he turned around and called me a selfish bitch- it's over i've had enough.
this hit me off i was just going off at him.. im selfish??? after everythin u put me thru im selfish? n i was throwin things at him and he was just silent... and his like .. look just drop me off i'll give you ur stuff and i threw at him "ohhhh and my $2,000 is there too???? OH because wasn't i really selfish to give you $2,000 even tho u bought stuff for urself all the time and didn't even pay me back... i am selfish right?" and he was just silent... finally when i stopped the car he got out and left.
I called him to pick up my stuff and i went there and he gave me everythin.
a few days later... i contact him and i send him a list of questions... stuff that maybe we can sort out our issues.. he tells me what he wants from himself, his life future and our relationship and i do the same and we compare and see if we are on the same level.. if we can come to a compromise etc...
i don't hear from him... a week later i was thinking stuff it i'll call him... I ring him and he is really sick and tells me he got my msg (and im thinking why couldnt he just send me a quick sms that he was sick etc) he tells me he wants to work things out and i tell him i don't not now not ever... ( i guess i was playin bit of games to get him to chase me ... big mistake)
saturday night i go out on date thinking i'm ready for it.. because i just didn't seem upset or anythin!! on the date i felt really uncomfortable and it hit me that it felt wrong and i should be with my ex.
my ex finds out i went on a date, he comes over on the sunday to drop something off to me and tells me he doesn't want to work things out he just wants to be friends.
a few days later i call him... and we just everything is all good but he still tells me he just wants to be friends..
me the idiot sends him a msg telling him that i have changed over this short weeks ive realised things i did wrong n could of done better etc and i was sorry for meeting that guy i thort i was ready and clearly i wasn't! and then a few days later he contacts me that he wants to talk.
we arrange to meet up on the wed night Jan 31st. On the tuesday he calls to cancel. That was my first sign that he obviously doesn't think its important enough.
We arrange for thursday night. Thursday comes and he tries to cancel.. and i said no lets meet tonight and he says "its not going to be good" and i told him "well all the more reason to meet up tonight and get it over and done with"
so thursday night we meet up and he is all calm and collected he tells me he doesnt want to work things out. he thinks we'll keep fighting and it will be the best thing for us. (mind you when i approached him in the first place.. he thought our relationship was fine..)
I think he really just used reverse physchology! on me. But then his mate called when i was in the car with him and he STRUGGLED to tell him he was with me.. and he told me doesnt want his mate to think "im putting a spell on him to come back" and he started laughing saying he was joking - yeh right!! and im like WTF........... he seemed like a different person and i thought... get over yourself!
then this other guy was calling him and he hadn't spoken to him for months coz they had this big fight.. his mate basically dogged him big time..and instead of answering it thru the system like what he did with his other friend that called he answered thru his fone so i wouldnt hear... and i thort OH NO.... he is speaking to him again since both of us broke up... and he said to me oh i think im goin to sort things out with him tell him what he did last year wasnt good etc etc
*and i didnt think of this til i got home but i thort... what he wants to sort things out with this guy he was totally prick to him (he left on a holiday without my ex... they were supposed to go together!) but then he doesnt want to sort things out with me.. when ive done everythin 4 him??? scr3w that!!
then he hugged me and his like "oh u even changed ur shampoo.. what else have u changed".
so well now i'm really just waiting for him to give me all my money before i cut all ties with him.... delete him from my msn, delete him from my space and really just have no contact with him!
i'm not devastated coz in the last few months of our relationship i was questioning my feelings i guess im just hurt more than anything that he just gave up with out trying to make a big effort to make things work....
What is he thinking tho??? IS HE REALLY JUST OVER IT???? or is he just acting really tough??? is his friends sayin stuff to him... i think its obvious they are since he had trouble tellin him i was with him... i heard the whole conversation coz it was on speaker.
The guy i went on a date with is VERY sweet.. he is really nice and caring.. he tells me he likes me all the time and that he wants to make me happy... that i mean alot to him etc
I told him that i needed time to myself, i need to get over my ex .. be single while i do that. He tells me that he is happy to wait until i'm ready because he thinks im a really nice girl and i'm worth waiting for....
My question is should i meet up with him as friends - strictly no huggin or kissing.. just friends......? What do you guys think?
Thank you!! sorry it was so long, but i think u needed to hear the back story of it! hehe

Hi mzitaliana,
Welcome to the board.
"No sorry, that's your 4th sign, not the first, in my opinion."
Yeah you are right!
"It has been my experience that while going through a break up, what you see isn't necessarily the truth. You would be the last person he would now show his true feeling for, even if he's hurting and upset. We all do that. You aren't going to cry on his shoulder and let him know how hard you are taking all this, are you?"
That's true, i haven't shown him my true feelings... he tells me he doesn't want to work things out.. and i really haven't heard from him since we spoke on thursday night.
I haven't contacted him only to send him an email to what he owes me...i didnt add a message just attached the excel sheet, and even then i didn't hear from him.
This thursday is when he agreed to start giving me my money.. so now if i contact him its strictly just about the money he owes me..
Do you think he really doesn't want to work things out? and he is just angry that i went on a date... coz he was really shocked about that.. and i know deep down he was upset but he didnt show me it.