Is what I did worth it?
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| Thu, 04-26-2007 - 1:24am |
This is my first time posting here and I have a lot to get off my chest and hopefully you guys can help me understand more on relationships.
Me and my now ex who I will call Jason dated the first time for 2 months 3 years ago, we were introduced by a mutual friend who I will call Stacey. He broke up with me when he moved out of state but we had always kept in touch and stayed friends. I had a toxic relationship after that.Last year he moved back to town and we started seeing each other more and we gave it another try and got back together in January of this year. Stacey and I were best friends, however,early last year we had a falling out and we are still not talking . Jason considers Stacey a real good friend of his and he was torn between his good friend and his girlfriend so he said that it would mean a lot to him if I'd make an effort in reconciling with Stacey. I was hesitant and didn't respond yet and we got into a screaming match and he stormed out of the room.SO when we finally talked he told me that he was tired of having to pick when he can hang out or talk to her on the phone with her without pissing me off. SO I got mad and just said we might as well break up. I am very stubborn and I realize that I could've handled it differently, but my last toxic relationship left me really hurt and skeptical about everything. I am skeptical in the sense that I don't believe a guy could have a friend who's a girl without trying to get in her pants. Perhaps I over analyze things because she wouldn't be the type of girl he is attracted to but I can't shake the thought out of my head though.
I deal with depression from the aftermath of my last relationship,I was with a pschycho and was abused....so I have a hard time trusting people. I gave it another go with Jason cuz I already knew him and knew that no matter what he'd never put his hands on me. That and he cared about me a lot the whole time that we were apart.
I took my things from his place and left and I've done a lot of thinking and I can't imagine life without him. He is the first person that I love with all my heart and I feel that I finally found someone that I'd be happy with and I definitely don't want to lose him for good. What am I to do to fix this?

Well, if you want to be with Jason, then you have to trust that he is not trying to get into Stacey's pants.
Also, since Jason asked you to reconcile with Stacey, if you want to be with Jason, then reconcile.
The past is the past and you shouldn't let things that happen in the past affect you now.
I know this is hard but it is true. Whatever happens, happens. The best thing you could do is to forgive, and don't give into crazy thoughts. You do not know if he is trying to get anywhere with Stacey and, from what you say in your email, I doubt that he is.
Rob
Welcome to the board mangobd,
Do you feel you there was a good reason for you and Stacey to have a falling out?
The reason Stacey and I had that falling out was over something petty so there were times when I thought about it and said to myself that we were better friends than that. So yes in a way I wanted to talk things out with her. I've seen her a few times since Jason and I talk againd and we've been cordial towards each other but we don't call and talk on the phone or anything like that.
I am not very "experienced" as far as this whole love/relationship thing is concerned. He tells me that he loves me and we plan/talk about the future a lot such as kids, a house, what we'll do together....and he even talked about marriage....that freaked me out. We do spend every moment we can together and he likes being around me but I am still questioning things like Stacey is too close for comfort. Am I being selfish towards him and being too hard on myself? I know I should take things easy and not stress out but I love him so much and I want things to be good for us.