The What-If

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
The What-If
1
Thu, 04-12-2007 - 8:16am
Hey guys, I recently went through a break-up, but I feel like I moved on from the relationship. I no longer want it or want to be with him. But I still miss him. And in the back of my mind... I always ask "What if." What if he wasn't moving 5 hours away for his residency? What would have happened? Would we still be together? Are their other reasons we broke up and I just don't know them? Where would the relationship have gone? I kick myself every time I think this way, because I am a believer that whatever happens... happens for a reason. I also know that everyone probably goes through the same thing. SO when did the What If feelings and thoughts go away for all of you? How did you get rid of them? Is there another way I should think about it?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2007
Thu, 04-12-2007 - 8:30am
i know exactly what you mean. i do the "what if" a lot, but i haven't quite moved on yet. i've only done 2 days of successful no contact so far. i wonder what it would be like if he had a change of heart and wasn't trying to jump into a new relationship with his co-worker, but the reality is, i won't ever really know. in a way, we are obsessing about "what ifs" and i find myself doing that through the day. i tell myself to STOP because if not, i will be hurting myself. trying to stop the dwelling sometimes is the hardest part. i wasn't ready to give up on our relationship so when it happened, i was devastated. he had already started to move on without me, so now i can only accept it.