What if He Gave Me HIV Since He Cheated?
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| Wed, 10-24-2007 - 11:10am |
Hi everyone,
Well, since my last post here about my breakup with my cheating ex, how he owes me money, wont even speak to me about repaying it, etc, I've really been worrying about something. Obviously this guy was a lying cheater who doesn’t care about ANYONE, let alone himself, (he's trying to stop drinking and he's still on pills and smokes a TON of pot) - he's even said to me before that if it wasn’t for his 2 kids he would just put an end to it all, that he doesn’t even want to be here, my concern is the fact that when I called him up to confront him on what I found online, I said to him that it wasn’t something I wanted to tell him in person (I wanted to see if I could get to his house to grab the watch back) - but that didn’t work. He told me no! I cant have company now! (I'm sure there was someone else there already) and he said I had no choice but to tell him over the phone. I said no, and he goes, "what's so important? You found out you have HIV?" - well, at the time I didn’t think about what he had said, but looking back now, why would he say that? Now I'm worried what if he has that and knows it and just didn’t tell me? I wouldn’t put anything past him now. I was worried before that he might've given me that, so I got tested early this month (we havent had any "activity" since), and then out of the blue around the same time I got tested HE got tested. He never wanted to get tested before. That was another thing that was fishy to me. Anyway, needless to say I'm extremely worried now what if he gave me HIV??? A couple of people I know that I've told about him said he sounds too into himself to have known that he had something like that and not have it show in his day-to-day actions/personality. I don’t know. All I know is I'm going to be walking on eggshells worrying my guts out for the next year! And I cant ask him anything because #1 he wont even talk to me now, and #2 I don’t think he'd be honest anyway. I’m on my own here. Please, any advice is appreciated.

Yikes! It sounds like you are going through the wringer with this one. I'm sorry to hear it.
Regarding your HIV worry, I'm not sure why you feel you have to worry for a year. My understanding is that current tests detect HIV antibodies within weeks of infection and are very reliable. If I were in your position, I would call to Planned Parenthood (if you are in the US) and find out how long you have to wait after possible infection for a reliable test result. No need to wait a year, for sure. Even 10 years ago, the wait was only 3 months after last possible infection. I'm certain it is less than a month now.
Hugs to you. Hang in there.
Welcome to the board cherrygirl,
I agree with Claudia.... call and find out.
It's ALWAYS worth a try. The virus could linger around outside the lining for a bit. Small window of opportunity. And it can't hurt in any case.
But keep us informed! May it be good news.
Edited 10/25/2007 12:33 am ET by unicornssong
Bad news,
It was basically useless to go to my primary dr last night. First of all, he was very callous about the whole thing, and said there really was nothing he could do, as this isnt his specialty in medicine and didn’t want to do anything to hurt me. Second, he gave me the name of an infectious disease specialist telling me to call him in the morning and ask him. Now lets face it, when you call a new dr as a new person off the street, not even a current patient, they're not gonna tell you to come in and give you this medicine off the bat. I couldn’t believe my dr knew how time-sensitive this issue is, yet he was so willing to send me out of his office like that. I'm still very angry and I'm not even going to bother calling the infectious disease guy because its definitely too late now for any preventative therapy. Its been 5 days already since my last contact with him, and according to everything I've read (even the center for disease control site, and I would tend to believe them) says the window of opportunity ends at 72 hours. So I guess I'll just have to wait it out and get tested again in 3 months and hope for the best. I tried contacting the loser and left msgs saying please just tell me the result of your test, I'm really scared" and he wont even take my calls, answer any messages or texts. He's just completely ignoring me now. This makes me EVEN MORE nervous.
You need to stop contacting him.
Hi,
Yes, i've realized that the best thing for me to do is to cut all contact with this creep and move on, because basically his word isnt worth sh*t anyways, and I wouldnt put it past him with his character to just say he DID have it just so that he knew I would worry.