what IRKS me is...
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| Fri, 04-29-2005 - 3:26am |
you know what bothers me??
(1) i cant stand happy couples right now... i know it sounds mean, but seriously - its annoying right now..
(2) i cant stand how people tell me: "its for the better," or "dont get so upset over it," etc etc... cause no offence, but even though i may be able to think its "for the better" or realize that i shouldnt be "so upset over it," - i cant help what i feel!!!! i mean, HELLO - if i knew how to rid myself of this agony and just "get over it," - wouldnt i ?!????? but its not that easy!! i know people say that to me with the best intentions and i dont hold it against them or anything, and i do appreciate their support - but really - i wouldnt be feeling like this if i didnt have to... :P
(3) it bothers me how most of my friends dont understand what i am going through...we're in our twenties, and most of my girls are either in these longterm relationships that theyve had since high school, or have never actually been "heartbroken" before... so its frustrating trying to explain what i feel, or what i think, or what im going through when really - they dont understand...it makes me feel quite alone...
but anyways, just thought id share a few tiffs and get it off my chest, lol!
cheers,
eeksj

I know exactly what you mean. I have gotten a lot of "good thing it happened now, instead of after you moved down there, or gotten married, or had kids..."
I know they mean well, and they are right about the better now than later, but I can't help but thinking "why did it have to happen at all?"
I am also tired of "everything happens for a reason - someone was looking out for you" and my favorite "stop thinking about him." Well, if it was just that easy, don't you think I would?
I don't know if age makes much of a difference - I am 39, and my friends don't have any better answers than yours. Of course, if the situation was reversed, I'd probably be telling them the same thing.
I am feeling better the last couple of days. Yesterday I thought I might actually be able to put this behind me and forget about him. Then I started to panic, thinking that means he will forget about me. Ugh. I hate that he has done this again, but unlike last time where I KNEW it was mistake and we would get back together, this time I know we won't. I still believe it was a mistake, but I can't go through this again - the trust is gone. I feel strong saying that until I realize that he won't even try this time - how much better it would be if he would want to and I could say no!
The worst thing is having to deal with the happy couples, the sappy commercials on TV and hearing how this is going to be so good for me. How I will look back on this and wonder why I ever got with him, everybody tells me that I will be so happy alone. How does anybody know if I will be happy alone? I know they are trying to help me but it gets old after awhile. It hurts like hell right now and I honestly don't see me being anything but miserable for the next lifetime.
My ex-fiancee tells me he still loves me but obviously he is not in love with me or he would want to be with me. He is not that into me (according to the book) and it is what he wants but that still leaves me to deal with the rest of the crap that comes with me not wanting it.
Thanks for letting me vent.